HUNGRY GERALD

Passover is here and that means, among many other things, that it’s time for one of HG’s favorite breakfast treats: matzo brei (pronounced bry..rhyming with dry). Here’s the classic recipe: Beat two eggs with salt and pepper. Break up two whole matzos into small pieces. Soak the pieces in cold water for a few minutes until soft. Drain and gently squeeze out the water. Drop the pieces into the beaten eggs. Heat a mixture of butter and vegetable oil until it sizzles. Cook the matzo/egg mixture under low heat for a few minutes until the bottom sets. Turn over and brown the other side. Serve hot. (This is from Claudia Roden’s wonderful “The Book of Jewish Food.”) Mrs. Roden says this quantity is enough for two but HG could easily knock it off himself. Indeed, he is Hungry Gerald. HG , irreverently, likes to top off the matzo brei with some thick cut, natural bacon. Don’t tell the Rabbi. Ah shandeh!! (a shame, a disgrace).

For many years HG was obsessed by the Chow Mein Sandwich. Permit HG to clarify: A Chow Mein Sandwich is a layer of crisp chow mein noodles, a large glop (heavy on the corn starch) of vegetable chow mein, a squirt of soy sauce. Served on a standard, soft hamburger roll, it is very difficult to eat. The filling has the regrettable habit of rolling down the eater’s sleeve. The only places that served this delicacy were Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island and Nathan’s Famous near Times Square (it had a run of about 10 years). Despite the consumption difficulty HG was mad about the sandwich and made many detours to Nathan’s to indulge his passion (ruining many suit sleeves in the process). Nathan’s is now franchised beyond recognition and despite existing in every major airport, ONLY the original Coney Island branch still serves the Chow Mein Sandwich. HG has moved to New Mexico.

Distance and time has cured the obsession.

HG loves (not neccesarily in order): Italian food, HG’s brilliant son-in-law, Profesore MR; HG’s beautiful and accomplished (half Italian and bilingual) granddaughters, Ms.A and Ms. S. Add to the list of HG’s Italian loves: Fra’ Mani and O Gelato.

Based in Berkeley, California, Fra’ Mani makes superb, handcrafted Italian cured meats, sausages and salami. HG tasted Fra’ Mani’s Salume Rossa yesterday. This is a cooked salami with origins in Bologna that tastes a bit like a cross between mortadella and cured salami with all of the virtues of both.

I also discovered that Whole Foods (in Santa Fe) stocks O Gelato products and happily purchased the mind-blowing O Gelato Salted Butter Caramel. OG is a tiny, Mom and Pop operation in Sante Fe, with one little shop in a mall. But, to gelato lovers its products are worshiped with religious fervor. Glad that a big operation like Whole Foods has discovered this very local company and is giving it a showcase.

If you are fortunate enough to find yourself in Brooklyn zoom over to Atlantic Avenue, the broad thoroughfare that is the dividing line between Brooklyn Heights (with its wonderful port promenade facing the towers of downtown Manhattan) and Cobble Hill. Atlantic has very good middle eastern groceries. HG suggests you stock up on pita, olives and other good things. It is HG’s source for halvah, that wonderful confection of ground sesame seeds (tahini) and sugar. Best of all, Atlantic is New York headquarters for za’atar and HG buys this marvelous spice blend in bulk. There are many types of za’atar but basically it’s a blend of sumac, roasted sesame seeds and lots of dried green herbs (oregano, thyme, marjoram, etc,). Magic. Mix it with olive oil as a sublime dip for pita or bread. Or, warm pita, douse it with olive oil and dust it with za’atar. Good dry rub for lamb. Dust potatoes and cauliflower with it. An HG favorite: a bowl of Greek yogurt with some pureed garlic and za’atar. Many sources will mail order za’atar such as Dean & Deluca. Don’t live without it.

Last Christmas, thoughtful SJ gifted HG with a big sack of Bazzini pistachios, Big, plump, fresh, not too heavily salted nuts. Indeed, Bazzini reigns over the pistachio kingdom.

HG has always loved pistachios. As a wee lad, he would purchase them at the famed candy and ice cream emporium, J.S. Krum, which was located on The Bronx’s Grand Concourse (and Promenade). HG loves all pistachio-studded Turkish and Greek desserts. HG loves mortadella, the Italian forcemeat that is dotted with pistachios (the best mortadella is found in Bologna, a city of hearty cuisine). A bowl of pistachios, fruit, cheese, red wine (or port) makes a nice dinner finale. Curiously, HG has never encountered good pistachio ice cream. It usually tastes like green food coloring and sub-par vanilla. It’s a puzzle, because it should be good, as good at least as Butter Pecan or Vanilla Swiss Almond and it just isn’t. So, get to work, ice cream R & D guys. The world needs superior pistachio ice cream.

Permit HG to expand your vocabulary. “Shmuchtzeh” is a Yiddish word. It means a big, wet exuberant kiss. And, that is what HG sends those wonderful San Francisco folk who create the BUBBIES brand of pickles and sauerkraut. Through some alchemy they have put old-time Bronx flavor in a jar. You will find BUBBIES at Whole Foods and most other supermarkets. No, HG is not the brand’s press agent but when something is really tasty, generous HG wants to share.

Say the word “eels” and you will usually get a grimace of disgust. The words “slithery” and “slimy” are often used in connection with eels. They got very bad PR in the movie The Tin Drum where there is a graphic scene of an eel fisherman landing his catch using a rotten, decapitated horse’s head as bait. As any press agent would tell you: when trying to appeal to the public, avoid slithering out of the mouth of a dead horse.

Nevertheless. HG states, with conviction, eels are delicious. HG has posted on the splendor of unagi as well as posting a lyrical memory about the smoked eel at the late Henri Soule’s Pavillon Restaurant. HG also has vivid memories of Matelote d’Anguille (eel and red wine stew). It was a staple at cheap, French bistros on New York’s midtown (on the west side).

Londoners, for many years, were passionate about consuming eels. East London, in particular, had scores of eel-and-pie restaurants. They served stewed eels, jellied eels and eel pie with mashed potatoes. All were served with “liquor”….a parsley sauce often spiced with chilies and vinegar. HG always looked askance at jellied eels until he realized that they were similar to gefilte fish which is properly served with an abundance of jelly, which is simply the jellied stock in which the fish is cooked. Alas, there aren’t many eel-and-pie shops left in London (there used to be 130). The most extraordinary, in terms of its ornate 1910 decor is F. Cooke’s. Find this noble establishment at 44 Kingsland High Street, Dalston, London E8. Blimey!!

HG is very fond of unagi (Japanese fresh water eel). It is always available, cooked and glazed, at the Whole Foods fish counter. HG likes it as an appetizer. Some slices with wasabi and sliced scallion. Chilled sake. Very civilized way to start a meal. HG also likes it atop a bowl of slightly vinegared rice. And, of course, in all the creative dishes a serious chef turns out at a good Sushi restaurant. In Japan, there are many restaurants that serve nothing but unagi — including the 160 year old Nodaiwa in Azabu where SJ was treated to an Unagi meal by the Eel Prince (whose family has been running Nodaiwa for 6 generations).

HG’s lovely Japanese daughter-in-law, Maiko, was saddened last year by the passing of her grandfather. He ate unagi every day. He lived to be 102.

Because of his height, big nose and high forehead, Charles de Gaulle was called by the irreverent French, “La Grande Asperge” — The Great Asparagus. Well, last night HG had some truly great asparagus. Big, fat guys purchased at Whole Foods and labeled European Asparagus. BSK steamed them and served them with olive oil, a bit of melted butter, lemon juice and sea salt. Yum.

Asparagus doesn’t marry well with most wine. HG likes them with Le Ferme Julien Rose if you can find it or a crisp white or even beer. When only skinny asparagus are available HG suggests they be cut into short lengths and stir fried with a bit of garlic and ginger. Fat white asparagus are a European obsession. Veronika H., the German-born pal of HG and BSK, said all work would halt in Germany on the first day these delectables hit the market. HG and BSK first tasted these lush asparagus many decades ago in a long gone restaurant on the Boulevard Saint Germain in Paris. They were wrapped in a linen cloth to keep warm and served with great ceremony by the maître d’ who used silver tongs. A big gravy boat of Sauce Mousseline (Hollandaise mixed with whipped cream) accompanied them. Wow! This was followed by rare spring lamb and souffle potatoes. The meal ended with the first wild strawberries of the season. Ah, springtime in Paree when we were young and the exchange rate favored the dollar!!

Babe Ruth had the last word on asparagus. Invited to a classy dinner of blue bloods, the rough diamond of the diamond, was asked by the hostess why he declined the asparagus: Said Babe: “Because they make my pee smell funny.”

Forgetfulness is a curse (one of many) of advancing years. HG apologizes to the upstate New York city of Rochester for not including it in his recent posting of regional hot dog favorites. Rochester, you see, is the home of “White Hots” — a bow wow that is white and not the familiar reddish hue. Absence of food coloring? Inclusion of veal? HG doesn’t know (but this great regional hot dog blog does!). HG was introduced to these strange (but very tasty) tube steaks by Donald K., Rochester native, public relations mogul, round the world sailor. The Rochester dogs, in HG’s opinion, don’t take kindly to sauerkraut. Try them (if you can find them) with a bit of mustard and relish.