HUNGRY GERALD

Frozen custard. Tastiest of all summer treats. In HG’s youth, frozen custard stands dotted the boardwalks of New York’s plebeian beaches — Coney Island, Rockaway and Brighton. Similar to ice cream, frozen custard contains eggs in addition to milk and sugar. That “egginess” added a thickness, a richness of flavor and texture. HG spent his summers consuming more than his share.

Then it disappeared from the east coast beaches and was replaced with tasteless soft serve ice cream.

HG’s dear friend, the great jazz singer, Jackie Cain, said the best frozen custard was served in her home town of Milwaukee. People from St.Louis still line up nightly for Ted Drewe’s famous custard

Does anyone out there know of any other frozen custard sites? It is not really summer without that yummy cone of goodness.

At one point in the distant past, HG collaborated with the distinguished advertising copy writer Charles Ewell on a television project. (Ewell had many distinctions. He headed Volkswagen’s advertising creative team in Germany and played on a Columbia University football team with Jack Kerouac). HG and Charlie would take a break from their lofty endeavors and visit a Chinese restaurant on Seventh Avenue just west of 57th Street. And what did these discerning gentlemen order? Did they dive deep into the mysteries and subtle refinement of authentic Cantonese cuisine? Nope. Combo platters. That’s right. They ordered large platters containing a greasy egg roll, corn starchy shrimp Chop Suey and dark brown pork fried rice. Much hot mustard was applied. Final disgraceful touch: Dabs of very sweet plum sauce on the egg roll and fried rice.

HG blushes with shame at the memory. But, it sure tasted good.

HG is a big fan of salt cod. It needs a good soaking in cold water (with frequent changes of the water). Then a gentle poaching or baking or whatever suits your fancy.

HG is a particular fan of the rich, luxury of a brandade (salt cod that has been pureed with some boiled potato, a lot of garlic, sweet cream and olive oil). Served with garlic rubbed toast (HG believes in keeping the vampires away) and chilled white wine it is a lush treat. You can get very good brandade at Balthazar, Five Points and Barbuto in downtown New York. The ultimate is at Rech, the classy brasserie in Paris.

Salt cod is good done in Mediterranean style — baked with thinly sliced onions, potatoes, garlic, olive oil and slivers of green olives. Try it cold as a simple Italian salad with parsley, garlic and olive oil. Or mix it with white beans. Salt cod makes great fish cakes.

When young, HG’s children, LR and SJ hated salt cod so much they stole a wooden box of the stuff from the pantry and buried it in the back yard. The years have made them change their minds.

Cuisine plays a big role in the work of two writers of crime fiction — Rex Stout and Lawrence Sanders. Stout, the creator of the cerebral private investigator/gourmand, Nero Wolfe, gives the reader full accounts of the meals prepared by Wolfe’s chef, Fritz. Fritz was a master of haute cuisine and the intricate details provided by Stout were quite appetite provoking. At one point, Stout wrote and published a book of Wolfe’s favorite recipes which was never read by HG as HG is no fan of elaborate cuisine and time consuming kitchen procedures. Sanders, on the other hand, favored plebeian fare in his fictions. HG particularly likes the “wet sandwiches” constructed by one of his protagonists, Francis X. Delaney. Brimming with sardines, tomatoes, onions, etc., these tasty items have to be eaten over the kitchen sink to avoid general messiness.

Ach…how could HG leave out all of the excellent food that saturates Donna Leon’s Venetian mysteries? Ms. Leon’s protagonist, Commisario Guido Brunetti, sure likes his vittles. His wife, Paola, sets a delicious table for Guido and their children, Raffi and Chiara. HG rarely comes to the end of a Brunetti case without cooking up a batch of linguine aglio e olio (dusted with a nice batch of chopped parsley).

Far from the gritty, urban milieu of detective fiction, Laura Ingalls Wilder used to make young HG’s palate tingle with her descriptions of farm food in the “Little House On the Prairie” books. There were extensive descriptions of the preparation and eating of smoked venison, cured hams and, best of all, a simply mouth watering (and mighty mysterious to a young, Bronx Jew) exegesis on “Johnnycakes” flavored with pork cracklings. HG was not the only one riveted by Wilder’s descriptions. In Michael Ruhlman’s and Bran Polcyn’s great cookbook “Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking and Curing” the two give Ingall’s “Little House In The Big Woods” much attention.

Alas, like a great tease, Georges Simenon’s Inspector Maigret pauses at many cafes and bistros in his yarns but there are no memorable mentions of food. (Many Parisian cafes and bistros claim to be the hangouts of the fictional sleuth).

Alan Furst, who specializes in spy thrillers set in Europe just before the beginning of World War Two, pays some attention to Paris brasserie food (particularly in his yummy descriptions of the fictional Brasserie Heinegger ) but his heroes seem more interested in sexual dalliance (taking excessive time out, in HG’s opinion, from their dangerous spy maneuvers) than serious noshing.

But, the best book about dining is the non-fiction “Between Meals: An Appetite For Paris,” A.J. Liebling’s memoir of his life in pre-World War Two Paris. Also worth reading are the various books by M.F.K. Fisher (pay no attention to her recipes–they are inferior).

The Saturday Farmers Market in Charlottetown, PE.I., is the place to meet, greet and overeat. HG managed to score pierogies with sour cream and scallions, Chinese spring rolls, Lebanese falafel and a bite of BSK’s pulled pork sandwich. All wonderful. Did not have room for Indian samosas, Canadian cheddar soup or various African and Thai goodies. The Market is a great place to buy freshly ground coffee (the family coffee maven, Profesore/Dottore M., lauds the espresso); organic lamb, beef and chicken; smoked salmon, herbed gouda (from The Gouda Lady); extensive variety of sausages and, of course, lots of fresh vegetables. Nice music from Island fiddlers and Irish pipers.

HG and BSK are camping out at a very kind neighbor’s guest house while the interior of HG and BSK’s fire damaged ocean front home is being restored. Last night dinner was perfect. Radio was tuned to CBC (Canadian Broadcasting–the up North version of NPR). The usual civilized, thoughtful commentary. This time it was an irreverent and informed program on Canada and religion. HG sipped gin and Campari while BSK has some summer Rose’. A bit of Nova Scotia smoked salmon and sliced, sweet onion. BSK did a stir fry of local asparagus, garlic and red pepper flakes. Topped it with a pound of thick, flavorful sauteed sole fillets. Dessert was brie with Theresa of PEI’s Pumpkin and Apricot Chutney. Theresa is one of the many artisans on the Island turning out small batches of extraordinary food. As the cliche would have it, her Chow Chow is to die for.

HG has been turned off by strawberries available in United States groceries (even the pricey berries at Whole Foods). Big, red, watery and tasteless. Good for the eyes, not for the belly.

Here on Prince Edward Island, HG is in the midst of strawberry season (blueberries soon to follow). A revelation. Strawberries that taste like the strawberries of yesteryear. Yum. HG breakfast treat is Greek yogurt, lots of sliced strawberries and local honey. Most local strawberry fields are U-Pickem. You get a basket and pick the berries. Cost is minimal and taste is maximum.

And now, the news from Prince Edward Island, Canada. Here in the town of St. Peters, the strip of land on the shores of St. Peter’s Bay, folks are justifiably proud of their mussels. They are farmed in the Bay and you can see the colored buoys marking the socks to which the mussels cling. PEI mussels are definitely the plumpest, cleanest and most flavorful of the species.

The Number Two Good Thing From The Sea at St. Peter’s is the lobster. The lobster catching season in HG’s neighborhood ( Cable Head East) is June. That means lots of very good, cheap lobster. After the season, boats from Nova Scotia arrive daily to unload their catch. HG picks out a big, cooked juicy lobster at a nearby fish store (Cost: Ten bucks). Corn on the cob, a sliced tomato, lobster. The perfect summer meal.

Trader Joe’s in Santa Fe is a hoot. Talk about diversity. TJ’s staff and customers represent every variety of cult, color, costume, age, beauty (and its reverse). Good humor, helpfulness and a post-hippie buzz pervades the market. TJ’s is HG’s source for French-trimmed pork chops, surprisingly good New Zealand lamb chops, buffalo mozzarella, brown tomatoes (yes) and hummus. Lots of very good cheap wine. Also, a big time red at $13-$16. Avoid the famed Two Buck Chuck wine. Plonk.

Ferran Adria, the owner/chef of El Bulli in Spain, is the most influential chef of his generation. He and his brother have single handedly reinvented the art of cooking and plating food by fusing the methods of science and the aesthetics of post-modern art with traditional culinary strategies. Simply put, Adria’s kitchens are more like laboratories where he experiments with deconstructing food into bubbles, foams, gossamer strands of taste, etc.. His “cook-books” are records of those experiments and are so lushly illustrated and painfully beautiful that they call out for placement on a coffee table far more than a spot in the kitchen. He has been called the father of “molecular gastronomy.” Food critics, other chefs and big time gourmets have raved and genuflected to his name.

HG has had no desire to visit El Bulli (thankfully, since it is astronomically expensive). HG’s tastes are simple, rustic, ethnic. HG may be avant garde in his literary and political thinking, but at the table HG is a conservative (possibly a reactionary). In case you missed it, Mark Bittman did an article in the Sunday NY Times about Adria’s simple down home cooking for his restaurant staff.

One recipe, in particular, struck a chord with HG–Bread With Chocolate and Olive OIl. Here it is: Toast 6 slices of country bread in a 325 degree oven. Toast on both sides (it will take about 6 to 7 minutes). Grate 6 ounces of bittersweet chocolate (preferably 60% cocoa). Cover the toasts with the chocolate. Drizzle the with 1/4 cup olive. Sprinkle with coarse salt.

Now this HG approves of. Calls for a bottle of robust red, no?