HUNGRY GERALD

Went to Lees Chinese Restaurant in Riverside, R.I. with high hopes but was met with grim disappointment. HG was hoping to revisit an old obsession. HG had been informed that Lees featured a Chow Mein sandwich, the oft posted about treat HG had relished for so many years at Nathan’s Famous in New York. This is what HG got at Lees: A large bowl of celery and onion in a gloppy, dark tan sauce thickened beyond recognition by corn starch. A large plate of crispy chow mein noodles and — surprise!! — a heap of French fries. On top of the noodles was a stale hamburger bun. In other words, a do-it -yourself Chow Mein sandwich. Tasted awful.

The pomme frites, however, even though they were an odd ingredient in a purportedly Chinese restaurant, were splendid. Best HG has had in years. Go figure. HG is now officially cured of his Chow Mein sandwich obsession.

You can’t go home again, said Thomas Wolfe. For HG, eating Lee’s Chow Mein sandwich was like encountering an old girl friend much assaulted by time. Not wise to stir up some old memories.

Gifted daughter LR has informed HG that his number one food perversion is alive and well in Rhode Island. Yes, the oft posted about Chow Mein sandwich, for decades obtainable only at Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island, has re-surfaced in Riverside, RI. LR reports that Lee’s, a rather plain spoken, Chinese restaurant now serves a Chow Mein sandwich. HG, with a firm grasp of irony, questions their authenticity. HG will submit it to a taste test during an upcoming visit to the Minuscule but Mighty state.

While in Riverside, HG will indulge in a one other perversion: a grip of New York System Hot Wieners topped with its unique (think Greeek Moussaka meets Texas Chile) meat sauce and washed down with the very odd RI beverage known as coffee milk.

HG will not indulge, however, in the top Rhode Island food perversion – Dunkin’ Donuts. It is a perversion cum obsession that has made Rhode Island lead the USA in per capita doughnut consumption. A perversion that has named the major arena, home to those excellent Rhode Island University and Providence College basketball teams, the Dunkin’ Donuts Arena a.k.a. “The Dunk.”