HUNGRY GERALD

Tough day for HG. Pneumonia is back. Big time. (“Mother of God. Is this the end of Rico?” — words from Edward G. Røbinson in the 1930’s gangster film,”Little Caesar.”) Fear not. HG will hang around. And, the reason HG will hang around is because he is married to the best woman in the world. Beautiful. Chic. Sexy. HG and BSK have been married for 52 years. HG is not an easy companion. HG believes BSK deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor with an Oak Leaf Cluster for putting up with HG for more than a half century. Her golden virtues have not tarnished. BSK is a wonderful mother and grandmother, loving, helpful. BSK is much loved and BSK deserves all their love…and more. BSK is an efficient household manager. As the old country song puts it: “If my woman can’t do it, it can’t be done.” Splendid cook, decorator. Excellent judge of wine (HG confesses.BSK is HGs’ favorite sommelier). A brilliant artist, BSK’s hand formed pots are in demand. Sold a beautiful cross yesterday to artistically knowing collectors. BSK shines when the going gets tough. During HG’s pneumonia, BSK has supplied HG with antibiotics, other drugs, water, tea and biscuits, Kleenex. BSK has created a comfort zone before HG/BSK’s bedroom Kiva fireplace. Computer. Phone. Pad. Pens. HG’s Mom, Chaika (Ida) Kopkind was parsimonious with praise for women. Not impressed with fine manners or elegant graces. She was down to earth. Her highest praise for a woman was to call her ah guteh nashumeh – “a good soul”. This has nothing to do with anything superficial. It has to with deep down goodness, HG must confess. HG’s Mom was not “ah guteh nashumeh.” Her life was just too tough. Chaika Kopkind died without really knowing BSK. If she lived longer, HG believes, she would have acknowledged BSK as an authentic “guteh nashumeh.”

New Year’s Day is the best day for hours of guilt-free, wintry enjoyment. HG is very fond of politically incorrect cheerleaders; huge bands going through their dopey maneuvers; thousands of passionate fans. It is acknowledged and forgiven by BSK that on New Year’s Day, HG joins millions of red blooded American he guys getting prone and watching hours of bowl games. HG missed two games–Tennessee vs. Northwestern and Michigan vs. Florida. However, HG was gratified by the results. The Vols and Big Blue romped. Then, on to the day’s grid feature–Ohio State vs. Notre Dame. HG loves Ohio State for these reasons: HG’s late cousin Morris, a flight instructor with the World War Two RCAF, died when a student panicked, seized the controls, crashed) was the manager of the OSU football team. BSK went to high school in Galion, Ohio (dated a high school football All-American) and attended OSU before graduating summa cum laude from Hunter College in New York. BSK, strangely, is not interested in OSU’s athletic fortunes. HG is passionate about the Buckeyes because they made money for him when money was needed desperately. HG’s partner had embezzled substantial money and disappeared. The IRS was after HG. The Mafia was after HG (the partner was a degenerate gambler, owed lots of dough to mob bookies, and that’s what led to the flight.) The bad boy partner hadn’t paid the suppliers to HG’s public relations firm and had flim-flammed many of the firm’s clients. HG was desperate. His solution was to scrape together a lot of money and place a very big bet on Ohio State in the 1968 Rose Bowl. (HG, in the sixth year of his marriage to BSK never told BSK the amount o the bet–$10,000–since some of the money came from a mob “Shy”). Despite O.J. Simpson’s heroics (an 83-yard run) in the first half, OSU won handily. O.J. had HG’s curse upon him. Fumbled three times and all were recovered by OSU. Also threw an interception. HG/BSK were on the road to solvency and within two years bought their first Montclair, NJ, home and had the IRS lien lifted from their joyous Fire Island home.And, that was the end of money worries. Thank you Jack Tatum and other OSU heroes. Farewell, memory lane and back to 1/1/2016. HG thought it unjust that OSU wasn’t among the Final Four. Powerful defense. Creative offense (nothing like this old Woody Hayes teams). As HG anticipated, OSU overwhelmed a very gallant Notre Dame team. Then watched Stanford’s Christian McCafferty put on a spectacular show against Iowa. This back is the real deal. Loved to watch his father, Ed, play as a Denver Bronco. The kid surpasses his dad. Deserved the Heisman. Finished football day. Oklahoma State vs Ole Miss. Mississippi is a powerful SEC team. Too tough for the Cowboys.

HG has never enjoyed this traditional party event. Too noisy, too drunken — too anxious in the pursuit of joy with “partyers” grimly determined to have a good time. This New Year’s Eve was different. HG had a glorious time. A group of delightful friends and neighbors joined HG/BSK. Roaring blaze in the fireplace, Yo Yo Ma on the Bose. Many candles. The Celebrants: Polly B. and David F. (Polly B. is a brilliant photographer and David F. is an eminent educator,historian, novelist. Karen K is a movie producer,film maker, gardener,agriculturist (She supplies HG/BSK with phenomenal eggs). She is also a supreme maker of desserts (HG has labeled her The Dessert Queen). Rounding out the party was Chris, Polly’s daughter who resembles her Mom. Funny. Pretty. And, of course, there was Bob C, HG’s friend of some 30 years. Bob had a long career as a reporter, editor, publisher, columnist. And, for a while, was the media counselor for a United States Senator from Colorado. The group did some festive dining. Tomato and Anchovy butter bruschetta. Prosciutto di Parma with Piquillo peppers. Rigatoni with Bolognese Ragu (Marcella Hazan’s version). Green salad. Italian truffle cheese. Karen K.’s dessert: lush rum cake with whipped cream. HG added splash of rum to his portion. Five bottles of very good red wine were consumed plus some after dinner Sambuca. During the jolly evening, HG gently berated Bob C.. Bob C. is a delightful writer on many subjects: His Abiquiu, N.M. neighborhood; horses, dogs, politics. New Mexican government skullduggery., etc.. He writes about these things on his blog: oldgringosgazette.com. He has been desultory of late. He promised HG he would mend his ways. Voila !!! A new, sparking blog entry appeared New Year’s Day. HG followers: Read Bob’s blog and add to your stockpile of pleasure.

The door is marked “MEN” (sometimes “GENTLEMEN”). It is the sign of the men’s bathroom, an essential facility in any restaurant (or any other public area, for that matter). Since HG has become an old guy, the presence of a bathroom has become a matter of necessity. Men’s bathrooms vary in quality from sumptuous to vile. In HG’s younger days, better restaurants had bathrooms staffed by courteous attendants who handed visitors towels and soap. There was a bowl for tips. The Algonquin Hotel had a very distinguished attendant and the luxurious bathroom that served the Oak Room of the Plaza Hotel had an attendant with the manners and bearing of a European aristocrat. (HG once shared a visit to the Oak Room bathroom with movie star Cary Grant, a paragon of style and elegance). French bathrooms vary in quality from stylish to serviceable to disgusting (“Turkish” toilets that are holes in the floor). The quality of food served in a restaurant cannot always be judged by the quality of its bathroom. Most New York Chinatown bathrooms are deplorable while the food is splendid. Bathroom attendants maintained anonymity. The exception was the bathroom attendant at New York’s long demolished Polo Grounds, the stadium in north Harlem that once housed the New York football and baseball Giants. The old African-American gent in charge of the men’s room would chant: “No matter how you shake and dance, the last drop always falls in your pants.” He added: “After you’ve had your little pee, don’t forget to remember me. Old Sam”. He was always tipped.

Economic doldrums can be healthy for architectural preservation. Two cases in point: Nantucket Island, Mass. and downtown Providence, R.I. When the whaling industry shifted from Nantucket to New Bedford, the island went into an economic depression that lasted for more than a century. The beneficial result is Nantucket’s beautifully preserved architecture. Nantucket Island retains a true 18th Century flavor (one of the factors contributing to astronomical real estate prices). Over the last 50 years, downtown Providence lost its vitality as a financial and retail center. Distinguished (and some flamboyant) commercial buildings were left untouched. There was no economic incentive to tear them down or “modernize.” Thus, Downtown remains virtually intact. It is now thriving. Its innovative shops, excellent restaurants and theaters, are luring thousands of visitors. The city’s various economic incentives seem to have produced beneficial results. HG has had long experience with Providence’s efforts at urban renewal. Some 50 years ago, HG was public relations counsel for the New York real estate investment group that developed a portion of Providence’s South Main Street with assistance from the city. A big success. The housing that was developed has been well maintained and, of course, has risen in value. The street is now lined with stylish shops, restaurants, hair salons, etc.. BSK had a splendid haircut in a salon yesterday and HG/ BSK strolled leisurely. (Very much beguiled by a curvy aluminum chair in an antiques shops window. More sculpture than seating, HG/BSK are debating a self indulgent purchase). Today, HG/BSK wandered through the downtown arts district. Bought a few modest Christmas gifts. Lunched at Ken’s Ramen on Washington Street, a small, very busy Asian restaurant. Besides the ramen which is served with chicken broth that has been simmered for some 30 hours, Ken’s offers pork buns, rice bowls topped with uni, spicy tuna or salmon roe; seared or braised pork bellies; pulled chicken, etc.. Ken’s was out of broth so HG/BSK had some big bowls of Tan Tan Mazeman. These were thick, wavy, al dente noodles mixed with pork bellies and a variety of vegetables. HG/BSK added sesame sauce and Ra-Yu hot sauce. The result was a spicy, hearty dish that was more Chinese than Japanese. Wonderful eating. HG wants to go back and sample some rice bowls and chilled sake. Be warned. Ken’s is cash only and deservedly popular. Be prepared to wait.

Here is an improbable fact. HG once drove to the basket and scored while being guarded by the great basketball player (Hall of Famer) Dolph Schayes. This happened in the gym of Creston Junior High School in The Bronx when HG was 13 and Dolph was 14. HG was aided in the score by teammate Jerry Tenney (later a prominent New York real estate investor) who gave Dolph a push. Young Dolph was very tall, gawky and awkward. HG liked the smart, untalented young man. HG was present when Dolph made his high school debut as the center of the talented De Witt Clinton High School basketball team. Dolph had replaced graduating center Stretch Durant, a fan favorite. Still awkward, Dolph was not well received. But, Dolph soon got better and better. And, better. Soon, he was equal to the exciting Joel Kaufman with whom Dolph played at Clinton and N.Y.U.. HG was often present when Dolph (with the Syracuse Nats) came to New York to bedevil the Knicks. He had become a great professional star, deadly from inside and outside, a solid defender, deft passer, never static but always in motion. Dolph was the prototype of today’s power forwards. HG was sorry to read his obituary this week and bemused by the fact Dolph earned a total of $250,000 for his entire 16-year career as a pro star (12 times an NBA All Star and voted as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA history). Great player’s career timing was off.

HG/BSK are in Rhode Island. Daughter Lesley R., son-in-law Massimo R. and granddaughter Arianna are besieged by work and academic pressures. (Lesley is also rehearsing with a gospel choir for a forthcoming holiday concert). So, BSK is doing the cooking. Dinner is in good hands. BSK is relying upon BSK’s kitchen classics — “Green soup”, a savory puree of broccoli, parsley and assorted greens; chicken curry; mapo tofu. These are dishes that span cultures and continents. They are welcome at the end of chilly December days. Massimo has enriched the cuisine by bringing home excellent prosciutto di Parma and ripe cheeses from an Italian grocery shop. When workloads lessen, HG is looking forward to oyster (and little neck clam) feasts at Hemenway’s in Providence and the Bristol Oyster Bar in Bristol. See how the Rhody bivalves compare to the wonders HG devoured in Reims recently. HG is sure the Rhody clams will be outstanding (HG has never had a tasty French clam. French bivalve cultivation genius has focused on the oyster). While in Rhode Island, HG will be sure to eat plenty of the Rhody specialty: Fried squid with hot peppers. The squid hauled in off Port Judith are incomparable.

Some years ago, HG/BSK toured Sicily with daughter Lesley R., her husband, Profesore Massimo and Granddaughters Arianna and Sofia (then little girls but showing signs of their future brilliance and beauty). HG/BSK had the very good fortune to have Massimo as the tour leader and guide. Professor of Italian Studies at Brown University, he is learned in almost every aspect of Italian culture. And, he grew up in the Sicilian city of Siracusa. Best of all, in HG’s point of view, Massimo combines learning with a good appetite and a knowledgeable appreciation of Italian cuisine. Thus, the group combined visits to the spectacular ruins of Greek temples and other architectural and natural sights, with extraordinary dining. In raucous colorful Palermo, HG tasted voluptuous linguine with sea urchin roe at a seaside restaurant. In a smoky hole in the wall in the center of the city, HG was introduced to the wonders of fried brains, spleen and other innards. And, in the teeming streets HG tasted mysterious treats dispensed by itinerant vendors. While driving, there were many roadside lunches under the Sicilian sun on the outdoor terraces of hillside trattorias. The pasta dishes with eggplant sauces were a revelation. Instead of customary cheese and fruit, the group ended some meals with an array of the justifiably famous Sicilian pastries. In Massimo’s hometown of Siracusa, a trip to the wonderfully preserved Roman amphitheater was followed by bowls of spaghetti with seppie (cuttlefish) plus grilled seppie with peppers and tomatoes. Siracusa is a 2,700 year old city. It was one of the most important cities of Europe during its Grecian period, rivaled only by Athens. Romans, Arabs and other occupiers left their marks on Siracusa. A wondrous city, indeed. After Siracusa, HG/BSK left the family behind and journeyed to the spectacular city of Taormina and its scenic location atop a hillside overlooking the Ionian Sea. On the east coast of Sicily, it has long been one the world’s most favored summer vacation destinations (much loved by Goethe and scores of other poets, novelists and painters). Its colorful art colony and its many gay visitors (Truman Capote, Jean Cocteau, Jean Marais, Tennessee Williams, etc.) gave it a reputation of being “Sodom by the sea.” Today, it’s know for its luxurious hotels and chic shopping promenade. The architectural gem of Taormina is Teatro Greco, a horseshoe shaped theater (built by the Greeks and Romans) that seems suspended between the sea and the sky. Woody Allen used it as the setting for a Greek chorus in his 1995 movie, Mighty Aphrodite. The sea view from HG/BSK’s hotel room terrace was unforgettable as was the pasta with sardines HG/BSK happily consumed in the hotel dining room. The pasta — which contained raisins, pignolia nuts and saffron in addition to sardines — was a living illustration of the Arab influence on Sicilian cuisine. Last night, BSK brought a touch of Sicily to New Mexico by making a stunning platter of linguine with sardines. The dish started with a sofrito of olive oil, anchovies, garlic, shallots, capers, chopped parsley and tomatoes plus a squeeze of tomato paste and a dash of wine vinegar. When the sofrito had simmered into mellowness, BSK mixed it with the al dente linguine and a bit of pasta water. The dish was then topped with chopped, raw and ripe tomatoes plus black Kalamata olives and Portuguese sardines. The tinned sardines, ordered online from Zingerman’s, the renowned Ann Arbor food merchant, are the best sardines in the world. Thick, meaty, flavorful filets. BSK’s dish topped the Taormina version.

Eggplant is the utility infielder. Eggplant is the sixth man. Eggplant is the triple threat. Okay, you get it. Eggplant is versatile. Best of all, eggplant is delicious. Eggplant is found in all of the world’s great cuisines–French, Chinese, Japanese, Middle Eastern, Russian, Italian, Spanish, etc. Last night, BSK did a Franco-Italian riff with eggplant. Cubed three small eggplants, Gave them a solid hit of olive oil and garlic and roasted them in the oven. Sauted tiny tomatoes. Warmed olive oil, anchovies and more garlic in a stovetop pan. Cooked some fusili (spiral shaped pasta) and when the pasta was just about done, put it in the pan with some pasta water and French goat cheese. While cooking on a low flame, gave it an active swirl to create a creamy sauce. Added the tomatoes and eggplant for a final mix. Dusted it with grated parmesan and hot pepper. Wonderful eating. Yes, it’s a variation on traditional Sicilian Pasta a la Norma. So, let’s dub this dish a la BSK. As part of a Chinese meal (maybe one involving a pork or chicken stir fry) HG likes to cook super spicy eggplant the Szechuan way. This involves oyster sauce, hot chili sauce, soy sauce, onions, sesame oil and crushed Szechuan peppercorns. Cooked stovetop for about 20-30 minutes. Rice and cold ale will tamp down the heat. HG does simple Japanese eggplant. Cuts small eggplants in half. Scores the fleshy tops with a knife. Brushes the eggplants with olive (or peanut) oil. Tops them with mucho finely chopped garlic. Roasts them unit mushy soft. When done, gives them a squirt of Japanese Bulldog sauce. Nice with fried fish. And, then there’s Baba Ganoush. HG scoops the soft flesh out of long roasted eggplant. Mixes it with olive oil, garlic (Can you sense a passionate love affair between HG/BSK and garlic ?), cumin, sumac. Aleppo pepper, zaatar (Middle Eastern spice), smoked Spanish paprika, sea salt and a dash of tahini. Chops it all up so the mix has integrity and isn’t a puree. HG/BSK often makes Baba Ganoush an integral part of a meal involving lamb kefta (cigar shaped barbecued or pan fried lamb burgers), Bulgarian feta cheese, Kalamata olives, scallions and warm pita flavored with olive oil and zaatar. And, then there’s eggplant parmigiano. The treats go on and on.

HG has never been a fan of outdoor dining. Too hot. Too cold. Too windy. Friendly to insects. And, the sun has a habit of getting directly in HG’s eyes. Food magazines are always filled with photos of folks having a jolly time at long tables outdoors while the barbecue performs smoky, culinary wonders. Parisians, usually sensible, if demanding, in terms of food, go nuts with joy at the possibility of eating on a restaurant terrace. They brave cold, dampness, auto fumes and beggars for this dubious delight. The only outdoor dining HG has ever enjoyed has been a feast of freshly shucked Malpeque or Colville Bay oysters served on the ocean-facing deck of HG/BSK’s Prince Edward Island home. However, here in New Mexico where HG/BSK reside for most of the year, BSK has managed to create an outdoor dining experience that even HG, a stubborn curmudgeon, must admit is a delight. BSK has strung dozens of tiny lights in the shade tree that grows on the HG/BSK brick floored terrace. The light is soft and conducive to wine drinking. The view is of Las Barrancas (reddish colored cliffs and mesas). So, it’s cocktails on the portale (long, low porch) and dinner on the terrace. A few nights ago the menu was a filet of wild salmon cooked medium rare on the barbecue; tiny Ratte potatoes; a salad of fresh greens dotted with gently sautéed buttery oyster mushrooms. HG concocted a sauce that went beautifully with the salmon and potatoes: Mayonnaise (Hellman’s, of course); olive oil; finely chopped fresh garlic; Maille Dijon Mustard; lemon juice and lemon zest; salt; pepper; tarragon from BSK’s herb garden. Manchego cheese and quince jam as a finale. Perfect meal. Perfect setting. Big time mind change for HG.