HUNGRY GERALD

The phrase “Jewish Boy” is usually preceded by the adjective “Nice.” Well, in The Bronx of the 30’s and early 40’s Jewish boys weren’t so nice. In fact, we were thieves.Variety stores like Woolworth’s and Kresge’s were big targets. So were fruit and vegetable stores with their street front stands  (Here you had to be wary since they were owned by Italians. In Bronx lore, if you were caught stealing from an Italian or tampering with an Italian maiden, the aggrieved Italian would shoot off your penis. Then he would think about doing something bad to you). Our best scores were at appetizing stores  (There will be an upcoming HG post about this vanished part of New York).  In an inspired PR move, the Maxwell House Coffee Company would distribute Hagadahs  (the Hebrew book of prayer,narrative and song recited and chanted at the Seder, the celebratory Passover ceremonial meal).  Appetizing stores got a plentiful supply. My gang went into action. The best looking of us (usually me, of course)  approached the shopkeeper and asked for Hagadahs  “so we Jewish boys could study before the Seder.”  Overjoyed at this display of piety and Nice Jewish Boyishness, the man went to his storage area to get the books. Out of his sight,  we bad boys filled our pockets with nuts,  chocolates,  and hard candies….even sour pickles straight from the barrel. One of the deftest thieves was my pal, Willie, who later became a NYPD detective and died in a West Side drug bust gun fight.  All good..and bad…things must come to an end.  One Passover season we were recognized.   “Goniffs!! Momsers!! Bestids!! Ahm gunna call the cops!!”     End of my criminal career.  The world lost another Meyer Lansky.