HUNGRY GERALD

It is common knowledge that the best thing about Chanukah is the consumption of many potato latkes. For the last morning of the Festival of Lights, SJ made that point con brio. SJ’s latkes had lacy, crisp edges. Juicy interiors. Hit with a touch of sour cream and dotted with Red Salmon Caviar and the remainder of Russ & Daughters’ smoked salmon and sable — the result was pure Heaven. HG’s favorite late breakfast. The good times kept rolling.

Yes, there was a crisp and golden skinned turkey with lots of moist and flavorful meat carved gracefully by BSK’s sister, Noel M. This was preceded by Beulah soup (named for HG’s late, beloved sister who introduced the Freeman Famille to the soup — essentially, a puree of Butternut squash and chicken stock. But, SJ kicked it up many notches through a blend of spices like nutmeg, cayenne, cumin and the secret ingredient, apple cider. Soup was topped off with a dab of sour cream or Greek yogurt (dusted with additional cayenne for lovers of spicy heat.) Turkey side dishes included a cornbread dressing (made lush with mushrooms and sausage), BSK’s very special cranberry sauce, haricots vert, brussel sprouts (tiptoeing into heaven with their topping of bacon and chestnuts), pearl onions glazed with balsamic vinegar, a virtual mountain of SJ’s buttery mashed potatoes. And, yes, there was that essential — gallons of flavorful turkey gravy. Beaujolais Nouveau was the wine of choice. Later in the evening there was BSK-baked apple pie and ice cream with dolce con leche.

Appetites had been honed by a long sunshine hike in the snow dotted New Mexico landscape. HG and Adorable Haru swam many laps in the heated indoor lap pool. Loads of joy.

Family, Food and Fun. Who could ask for anything more?

SJ birthday dinner at Gabriel’s New Mexican Restaurant. Margaritas, sangria, lots of made-at-the-table guacamole, carnitas, charro beans, warm tortillas. Good stuff.

A nice Gabriel’s custom: Waiters gather around the birthday celebrant table, do a loud serenade, present a flan with a candle and adorn the birthday person with a very large Mariachi sombrero. Oddly, December 21, was a very popular birthday as the entire restaurant erupted into song seemingly every 5 minutes. SJ finally got his celebration (at Adorable Haru’s urging) and the HG Famille got a great photo of the little guy in a sombrero.

SJ here. I’ve ridden with the Hell’s Angels. Boring. Tried rumbling with street gangs. Over hyped! Done Drive-bys with posses. Nothing to write home about. But for the last month, I have been part of the Dim Sum Warriors. A gang of hepped up dumpling fiends out for kicks and bragging rights for nailing the most awesome Har Gow in NYC.

Let’s break down the members…Myself, a.k.a. Johnny Choppers; Jamie S. a.k.a. Cheeseburger; Michael L. a.k.a. Big Mike and Maya L. a.k.a. Le Pew

We started our Dim Sum rampage last month at Oriental Garden in Manhattan’s Chinatown. Overall, the place rated high. Small room. Vast selection of Dim Sum. A stand out version of Steamed Pork Spare Ribs and a great steamed pork bun. Shrimp based dumplings and rolls suffered a touch from over steaming but, overall, things were good, but not overwhelming.

The next week we strapped on our colors on and rolled on through to the Manhattan classic, Golden Unicorn. The Unicorn is a classic of the New School Hong Kong Dim Sum Palace — it is huge (2 floors), wildly gaudy and absolutely packed. Food-wise, it is a better bet than Oriental Garden — flavors were a bit cleaner and overall quality was a bit higher. Still…No yelling from the roof tops.

The next week disaster hit. We went to 88 Palace which, for a while, was being hailed as having the best Dim Sum in New York. Well, those days are sadly past and what comes out of the kitchen can barely be called food. As Cheeseburger put it — “Everything tastes like it came out of a dumpster.” And not only was the food bad, but the service was rude and the whole place gave off a vibe as if they owed some major cash to some Chinese gangsters and they were just letting the whole restaurant fall apart. Terrible in the extreme. In fact we could not finish the Dim Sum that we had ordered and were still hungry so ended the meal by going outside and getting lamb burgers from X’ian Famous Foods. Avoid 88 Palace!

The next week, we decided to head to Flushing on the advice of a whispered rumour that the chef at Grand Restaurant was doing some amazing things with Dim Sum. Well, Grand Restaurant is certainly grand — in fact in takes up the entire top floor of the New World Mall (which has one of the world’s great food courts nestling in the basement) and is swathed in an over-the-top decorating motif that shimmies from 1980s Miami Vice style Greek Revival to Versailles style opulence to just plain nutty. How many rooms does this place have? No idea. There’s banquet halls, aquarium rooms, karoke centers and probably some tanning salons as well. And PACKED!!! Packed with Chinese families happy beyond belief eating an immense amount of good looking things. After the requisite 30 minute wait, we were led to a huge table in a room off the main dining room. I got very nervous that we would be ignored so I grabbed a manager and told him how hungry we were and asked him to make sure that the carts sped our way. Man was on point and after referring to me as “Mr. Hungry” (Mr. Hungry Jr., I should have said!) directed carts to us like a general at D Day. Soon our table was filled with some of the most flavorful, freshest, hottest, interesting and most high quality Dim Sum I have ever tried. They serve over 100 different Dim Sum items but let me list a bunch that we had: Roast Pork Turnover, Fried Watercress Dumpling, Crystal Shrimp Dumpling a.k.a. Har Gow, Salt & Pepper Large Shrimps, Sausage & Taro Dumplings, Congee With Vegetable and Pork, Beef Ball With Fresh Bamboo Shoots, Steamed Pork Spare Ribs with Pumpkin, Shrimp Shu Mai, Fried Shrimp Roll, Fried Stuffed Tofu, Sticky Rice with Mixed Meat, Fish Ball In Curry Sauce, Shark Fin Dumpling in Soup, Clams with Black Bean Sauce and Steamed Pork Bun. WOW! As mentioned, the food was of the highest quality — the Har Gow were by far the best I have ever had, the Sticky Rice (which I normally dismiss) was heavenly, the Beef Balls were rich with flavor but still light, the Steamed Pork Spare Ribs were stunning…everything really was just great and we barely touched the surface of what they have. True, the service was a bit off — BOWLS please!!! — and it was tough to get some Chili Sauce or extra soy sauce, but the gang agreed, hands down, that a winner had been found. A winner that could mock our other experiences.

True, Grand Restaurant may well be the crown jewel, but as Dim Sum warriors, we do no rest on our laurels. Other names have been mentioned, other experiences have beckoned and back on the road we shall be until that last Char Siu Bao is ripped out of our cold, lifeless hands.

Going to be a family Christmas at the HG/BSK hacienda compound. SJ, Exquisite Maiko, Adorable Haru plus Family Martonovich will be in attendance. Some food stuff HG is anticipating: Christmas Eve smoked fish feast courtesy of Russ & Daughters. SJ’s super creamy, yummy mashed potatoes. BSK’s stuffing and cranberry chutney. SJ & BSK’s roast turkey. HG pouring frozen vodka to accompany schmaltz herring. Adorable Haru gobbling up red caviar, rice and crisp nori. Noel M’s baked goodies. SJ’s Christmas morning potato latkes with red caviar and Greek yogurt. BSK’s soft, buttery scrambled eggs (with red caviar and sour cream, of course) and warmed (not toasted) New York bialys and cream cheese on the side. Lightly toasted New York bagels with scallion cream cheese, Nova Scotia smoked salmon, thin slices of sweet onion and capers (a couple of Kalamata olives on the plate).

Pre-Christmas birthday celebration for SJ at Gabriel’s with margaritas, sangria, tableside-mixed guacamole, pork carnitas with onions, peppers and warm tortillas. Charro beans. House-made flan for desert. (Maybe some breakfast burritos smothered in green chile the next morning at Tune Up–a continuation of the birthday festivities). Menudo at El Parasol with SJ to chase away any vodka hangovers.

One thing for sure: The best family cook, Expectant Mom Exquisite Maiko, is not allowed to display her skills. Time for her to rest and be pampered.

SJ here. New York for all of its size and population often seems like the smallest of small towns. You live here for enough time and you develop a personal circumference — where you walk, where you eat, where you live. And, if you are like me, you get to know that personal space down to its grittiest details. You learn the smells, the people, the graffiti, the cracks in the sidewalk, the empty lot that sprouts wild sorrell and the ancient Chinese woman who shuffles along with 400 crushed cans of Malt Liquor on her back. You mark this space like a lion on the Savannah by infusing it all with your personal mythology, your stories, your emotions — you superimpose a map of your own interior over the narrow map of the city that you know the best.

This is why I love Flushing. It is the opposite of my personal New York. It is a place still marked with mystery and discovery for me and like some big game hunter, it makes my forays to Flushing seeking food feel like an adventure. Well, last night I scored the Big Buck, the Big Kill when I went to Sol Hyang Lee, a noted Northern Chinese – Korean hybrid restaurant owned by ethnic Koreans who were raised in China on the borderlands between the two countries and whom speak both languages. I was tipped off to the spot by the excellent food blog Lauhound.com.

Sol Hyang Lee specializes in BBQ skewers cooked at the table over real charcoal (a sad rarity in these new gas and electric dominated times). We ordered Mutton, Chicken and Lamb Chunk Skewers from a menu that ranged to such esoterica as pork heart and bull penis. They come 10 to an order (except for the Lamb Chunk which is cooked in the kitchen and comes two to an order but with bigger pieces). The meat is tender, well seasoned and redolent of smoke. It is served with a spice blend made up of peanut powder, cumin seed, chili powder, salt and sesame seeds. You roll your meat in the powder and eat it right up! Cumin and smoke are a beautiful combination, each complimenting the other, egging their unique properties onto higher levels. We also ordered a brace of boiled dumplings (nothing amazing, but hearty and and unstructured in a very home-made, authentic way), pitchers of cold beer, water spinach in garlic sauce and a killer dish of tiny squids served whole on a bed of dried chili pods, cilantro and garlic scapes. The waitress, who was super nice and friendly, but none too adept in English, gave us a complimentary pickled cucumber dish which snapped with heat and bits of tofu skin and rubbery, clear noodles. There was also Ban Chan (the traditional small dishes served at all Korean restaurants). This was a totally unique meal with unexpected flavours (the cumin/peanut poweder will haunt my brain for a few weeks) and the joy of discovery. Everything I had was top notch and prepared with joy and love and I can’t wait to get back and try some deeper menu items including some of their offal choices and a quail dish that people seemd to be noshing on with much joy.

Yes, New York is world capital of culture, finance, style, skyscrapers and virtually everything else. But, to greedy HG, New York means Chinatown, dim sum, congee and other treats. So, after a night’s sleep following some 11 hours of air travel from Bologna it was off to Chinatown for a dim sum lunch with Gorgeous Restaurateur Daughter (Five Points, Cookshop, Hundred Acres) Vicki F. Destination for HG and BSK was Nom Wah (SJ recently posted a memorable piece of prose about this vintage eatery).

Talk about a trip down Memory Lane. As SJ has remarked, the old place got cleaned up but retained every bit of its funky appearance. HG was startled. It seemed nothing had changed since he first ate there some 56 (!!) years ago. Vicki ordered brilliantly and though the decor had not changed, the food was better. Har Gow and Shu Mai were among the best HG had ever consumed.

That night the trio was joined by SJ. Exquisite Maiko, Adorable Haru and Vicki’s husband and partner, Marc M. The site was Congee on 98 Bowery. Yes, there was congee. But, also fried squid, a couple of large, steamed flounders, clams in blacks bean sauce, sauteed greens, etc. Lots of food. Lots of joy.

SJ here. Nothing quite signifies why I love New York so much as my recent discovery of the best tamale I have ever eaten. Story goes like this: My fine son (Jewpanese to the core) demanded a bialy before heading off to his karate class. As we were on the road, we stopped at bagel shop on Smith & 9th street in Brooklyn’s Gowanus/Cobble Hill neighborhood called Line bagels (apparently the name is full of controversy as it used to be called F LINE bagels after the subway line that stops right in front of it. But, the MTA sued them for unauthorized use of the name and forced them to change.) Along the wall, with advertised specials for bagels, wraps and the typical stuff, was a board announcing tamales and enchiladas. When I placed my order, I realized that the bagel store had been taken over by a Mexican family and the woman taking my order definitely looked like a grandmother who could cook. I asked her if the tamales were good and she replied that she made them fresh every morning from her family recipe. I have never trusted someone as much as I did her, so I put in my order for a chicken tamale while her son informed me that their tamales were so beloved that one guy in Long Island orders 150 of them every week to give to his extended family and co-workers.

Along with a perfectly fine bialy for my son, the tamale I got was gigantic — a plump, juicy log of corn meal stuffed with intensely flavored braised chicken. I have eaten Tamales in the south, in the south-west, in Mexico, from a cooler in front of a Salvation Army in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood, but these F Line Bagel tamales made others seem like a joke. They were perfect: moist, but not falling apart, fragrant of mesa and long simmered chiles, deep in flavor with just a touch of spicy heat to keep things interesting. And this gigantic tamale (really, big enough for a full meal) was $1.50. So, my thanks to New York, my favorite city, for being the only place in the world that one could find the best tamales in a bagel shop that is being sued by the Transit Authority for copyright infringement.

SJ here. Christians have their Church bells. Muslims have the sound of the Muezzin calling the faithful to prayer. In my gustatory devotion, I have the sound of a dim sum cart rattling about while shouts of “Har Gow!” pierce the din of a crowded hall.

My place of worship is now the East Harbor Seafood Palace (714 65th Street in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn). Consistently packed with mostly Chinese clientele, East Harbor is modeled after the huge, dim sum palaces of Hong Kong. It is loud with crowd noise, shouting dim sum cart attendees and the badly amplified voice of the maitre d’ calling waiting diners to their tables. Expect a good 30 to 40 minute wait. Trust me, it is worth it.

I’ve tasted great made-to-order Dim Sum in Manhattan’s Chinatown and in Vancouver and always reveled in the fresh flavors and textures of that methodology. But the carts at East Harbor– owing perhaps to fast turn-around –dish out food that is every bit as fresh as those made-to-order spots and packed with even more flavor. The basics are covered to perfection — Shui Mai, snappishly fresh Har Gow, silky rice noodles, pillowy pork buns, crunchy spring rolls; but the carts keep arriving with things we’ve never seen before: finger length peppers stuffed with pork and crab, garlicky Chinese greens, tiny cockles stir-fried table side in black bean sauce, dumpling varietals with cashews and nuts, and definitely a few things I can’t even name. You see, when the carts keep coming, and you had your 45-minute-starving-to-death wait, you enter into a dim sum frenzy and begin grabbing just about anything for fear that it may all just disappear. At most dim sum spots, this fear is justified — dishes do disappear and the glum Dim Sum car attendants will look at you like a madman if you dare ask if that steamed pork rib dish is going to return. However at East Harbor dishes DO reappear and if you ask for something — crazily enough! — the staff is actually helpful! Yes, East Harbor Seafood has polite staff. They are nice! Nice to us! Nice to my son! They brought water when asked and more chili sauce and even said “no problem” and rushed off to get me some Hoi Sin sauce for my pork buns. This is an amazing thing for a Dim Sum palace — unparalleled actually!

So, the Dim Sum at East Harbor was completely top notch. I would hasten say it is the best in New York, except I know that there are some spots in Flushing that I have not yet tasted. But great dim sum AND a pleasant staff? Don’t know if that will happen in Flushing.

While noshing on our dim sum we noticed that the table next to us was filled with some mighty serious eaters. There were about 15 of them, a family — grandparents down to grand kids — and simply enormous. Each of them hitting upwards of 300+ pounds. All Italians from the neighboring community of Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. And they were being brought enormous and extensive casseroles of seafood — lobsters, crabs, prawns, crayfish maybe — and eating it with unmatched gusto. Shells cracking, fingers pulling at shreds of crab meat, juices dripping onto chins — pure joy!

And I didn’t taste it. So, a trip to East Harbor for a non Dim Sum meal is in order and all HG readers should prepare to read all about it!

In case you HG followers hadn’t guessed, the post entitled “Oh My!” was written by SJ. This is a man who can taste and write and convey tastes in words. HG is proud and fortunate. When HG was a Broadway press agent (back in the dark ages) columnist Walter Winchell was the acknowledged media king. In that era before television, WW’s newspaper column and radio program reached millions, influenced government policy and made and broke careers. When HG sent his first contribution to the Winchell column, WW printed it and responded in a brief note: “Keep ’em coming, Keed–WW.”

And, so HG says to SJ: “Keep ’em coming, Keed.”