HUNGRY GERALD

Among the splendors of Prince Edward Island are mustard pickles, hand crafted by local women. Tangy, slightly sweet, slightly hot. Utterly delicious. They are the perfect companion to a dish of fish cakes. BSK fried up a batch of cakes last night. Ingredients: Cooked fresh cod and cooked PEI potatoes (spuds only hours out of the red soil); grated Vidalia onion, beaten eggs, bread crumbs and loads of chopped herbs. Lush and moist on the inside. Crisp and golden on the outside. BSK made the meal perfect by stir frying a bunch of sugar snap peas with chopped garlic scapes. While PEI mustard pickles are BSK’s favorite condiment, BSK is also addicted to Bubbie’s Pickles, both sour, garlicky dills and bread and butter slices. (With economy in mind, the lady also knocks off scores of dills from Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s in New Mexico and Sobey’s in PEI.) In HG’s youth, the young man favored sour dills plucked from a barrel in Bronx neighborhood “appetizing” stores. Walking home from school, HG would pick up some (five cents each) for family dinner and as a side for HG’s after school snack: Pumpernickel bread with chicken fat and kosher salt. Properly energized, HG would then be off for an afternoon of sandlot football or baseball. The world’s best kosher dill pickles were sold from outdoor barrels at Guss’ Pickles on Orchard just south of Delancey in the Lower East Side. Alas, gone in the wave of gentrification.

You will never find a cucumber, cooked, fresh or pickled, on an Italian menu. For some strange reason, Italians believe cucumbers have a near lethal effect on the digestive system. Oh, well, that only means more cucumbers for the rest of us. Cucumbers make a very superior cold soup, perfect for summer. Cucumber slices with lemon juice and dill are perfect with many German and Scandinavian dishes. Chopped cucumber (and radish) should always be added to cold beet borscht or cold sorrel soup (schav). Chopped cucumber, radish, scallions, lemon juice are added to Greek yogurt in order to make the Indian salad, Raita, which can cool down a blazing vindaloo curry. Cucumber slices with sour cream (or yogurt) and lots of dill is a happy companion of cold poached salmon. These are a few of the good things HG does with fresh cucumbers. But, it is when art is applied to cucumbers, the vegetable becomes a pickle, and few things in life are better than a good pickle. Sour (and half sour) Jewish pickles with their inimitable dill and garlic taste, are the necessary accompaniment to pastrami, corned beef, chopped liver and a host of other kosher (or kosher style) delicacies. French cornichons are a delight to consume with country pates, saucisson and other masterpieces of French charcuterie. Slightly sweet “bread and butter” pickles (the Bubbie’s brand is the best) are nice with sandwiches. In HG’s Bronx youth, the hungry lad evinced a passion for pickles. HG bought them straight from the barrel at the “appetizing” stores that were a fixture in all Jewish neighborhoods. HG never ate popcorn at the movies. Instead, HG munched a pair of sour pickles. Tasty. Healthy (low in calories). Cheap. They cost a nickel in HG’s youth.

Schwartz’s is better. Yes, HG loves New York and loves all the old time treats…but. For dinner HG slathered rye bread with yellow mustard and piled on lots of Schwartz’s smoked meat from Montreal’s famed “Delicatessen Hebraique.” Heartburn heaven. Yes, better than Katz’s pastrami. Tough to describe. Schwartz’s smoked meat is a brined, smoked and cured brisket seemingly existing at the cross roads between pastrami and corned beef while retaining the virtues of both. SJ ordered it “fatty” and “medium fatty” and brought it back to the rented Montreal apartment to dine at home. Once again Schwartz’s meat proves that the flavor is in the fat. The Schwartz’s meat slicers, seasoned carnivore surgeons, hand carve slices that are much thicker than Katz’s pastrami so no juice and smokey flavor is lost. The Schwartz’s rye bread, however, lacks the slightly sour grandeur of traditional New York Jewish rye. Also, the texture is a tad soft. Didn’t try Schwartz’s pickles. Discerning SJ, a pickle maven, looked at the Schwartz’s product and said they looked tired. So, in terms of New York’s Jewish deli mystique, all is not lost.

Permit HG to expand your vocabulary. “Shmuchtzeh” is a Yiddish word. It means a big, wet exuberant kiss. And, that is what HG sends those wonderful San Francisco folk who create the BUBBIES brand of pickles and sauerkraut. Through some alchemy they have put old-time Bronx flavor in a jar. You will find BUBBIES at Whole Foods and most other supermarkets. No, HG is not the brand’s press agent but when something is really tasty, generous HG wants to share.