HUNGRY GERALD

Yes, the moment arrived: BSK could not dine last night (because of some annual medical check ups), so, HG ate alone. What to prepare? With the weather a bit chilly and HG feeling a touch lazy, it wass time to go to the pantry for an eccentric, marvelous treat — Olneyville N.Y. System Hot Wieners. These wieners are a Rhode Island regional treat only served at two Rhody locations–one in Providence and one in Cranston (other similar brands are, of course, served throughout Rhode Island). They are wieners covered in a spicy meat sauce and topped with chopped raw onions, celery salt and mustard. Thoughtful daughter Lesley R. sent HG a package of Olneyville’s spice mix alongside the frozen dogs. HG followed the directions on the package: Melt 1/2 cup shortening (HG used canola oil). Brown 1/2 finely chopped onion. Stir in two tablespoons spice mix. Crumble one pound of chopped beef into mixture. Simmer, covered, for one hour. Stir occasionally and mash with potato masher for a finer consistency. Yes, the recipe worked and HG downed four doggies with great pleasure. In Rhody, the natives wash down N.Y. Systems with milk mixed with coffee syrup (Lesley R. included a can of this syrup in her gift to HG) but HG chose to accompany dinner with some good Pilsener beer. Coffee milk will have to wait for another HG solo dinner.

Yes, it’s that time of year…NBA playoff time! It’s time to watch the world’s greatest athletes: basketball players who combine great size with agility, cunning, power and grace under pressure. Basketball is an intimate sport. You get to know the players — their tattoos, hairdos, weird rituals at the foul line, theatrics when called for a foul. It’s action theater with an added benefit…you don’t know how the performance will end. HG well remembers Michael Jordan’s heroics during the closing seconds of various NBA finals and Dirk Nowitzki’s laser guided shotmaking against the Heat two years ago. This is the time for cold beer and meals in front of the TV. That means bowls of chili or posole. Franks, sauerkraut and potato salad. Pan fried hamburgers topped with melted, sharp cheddar and roasted chili peppers. Rhode Island New York System Wieners (thoughtful daughter Lesley sent HG the fixings). Salad of Spanish canned tuna, chopped red onion, Goya canellini beans and chopped sweet onion (plus plenty of olive oil, lemon juice, ground black pepper). Unlikely that HG’s favorite teams (Knicks, Nets, Nuggets) will make it very far but HG will keep munching away.

The 10-cent Nedick’s hot dog (Nedick’s, now shuttered, was a New York City based fast food chain predating Mickey Dee). The Sabrett’s hot water dog with its odd tomato and onion sauce. The Chicago hot dog replete with “sport” peppers, celery salt, pickles and other greenery. The Bronx kosher deli dog with hot mustard and sauerkraut. The estimable doggie sold in the Costco food court. All of these have provided HG with varying degrees of pleasure. But, HG’s favorite canine can only be found in the small state of Rhode Island. Yes, Rhody is of modest size but it specializes in big, highly idiosyncratic flavors. And, for sheer oddity (as well as a strange, hard-to-pin-down savoriness) the “New York System Hot Wiener” (accompanied by a cold Coffee Milk) stands out and makes HG bark with delight. Permit HG to do a scholarly exegesis on the proletarian pup: The wiener used in a NY System is either the skinless product, the Little Rhody or the Saugy which has a natural English sheep casing (giving it a characteristic snap). Alone, or in a roll, these small sized dogs are certainly good but nothing to write an HG posting about. But, then comes the sauce. Ah, the sauce. The French say cheese is milk’s leap into immortality (When the French get things right, they get them really right). And, the spicy meat sauce that smothers the Hot Wiener makes the tube steak leap into nosh immortality. Created by Greek immigrants in the early 1920s (or somewhere around there) the meat sauce is truly the flavor of the old world (Europe, Middle East) meeting (or meating!) the new. There are hints of Italian Ragu and Greek Mousaka. Bits of Texas chili. Smidgens of Middle Eastern kefta (possibly due to tiny infusions of cinnamon, cumin and possibly all spice). The faintest evocation of Portuguese stews. But, why try to analyze it. Like a kiss from a beautiful woman, just enjoy it and don’t intellectualize. One would think that the sauce could stand alone, No. Rhode Islanders further enhance the Hot Wiener with mustard, chopped onion and celery salt. So, what do you drink with his extravaganza? Just as HG believes the only appropriate drink to guzzle with a New York hot pastrami sandwich is the “Jewish Champagne” that is Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Tonic, Rhodys opt for Coffee Milk. This beverage is made with two tablespoons of locally made Autocrat Coffee Syrup mixed with icy milk. Stirred well. Simple. Perfect. HG believes the Rhode Island fondness for coffee milk is somehow linked to the Rhode Island fondness for coffee and donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts. Rhodys are the nation’s largest per capita consumers of donuts (the Providence sports and entertainment center is the Dunkin’ Donuts Arena known to all followers of Providence and Rhode Island University basketball teams as “the Dunk).

Given all of this yummy history, HG’s heart picked up a beat today when he opened a package from the Family R.: Gifted Daughter Lesley, Profesore/Dottore Massimo, Glorious Granddaughters Arianna and Sofia. The little bundle contained a package of Olneyville N.Y. System, R.I.’s Best Hot Wieners, Hot Wiener Sauce Spice Mix (since 1946) plus a bottle of Autocrat, enough to make many glasses of Coffee Milk “The Official State Drink of Rhode Island.” The enclosed card read: “A taste of Rhode Island for Hungry Gerald.” HG has a kind and thoughtful family. HG will sample these good RI things while listening to Blossom Dearie sing: “Rhode Island Is Famous For You.”

HG could not leave Rhode Island without lunching on a native treat: A New York System Hot Wiener. So, accompanied by gifted Daughter Lesley R., off to the friendly, down home, plain spoken Riverside Grill in the town of Riverside. Had two wieners (they are composed of pork and beef and gently steamed). The tube steaks are served in soft buns and topped with mustard, celery salt, chopped raw onions and meat sauce (flavored with cumin and cinnamon). Curiously, these wieners evoke flavors of the Iberian Peninsula and the Middle East which is perhaps a reflection of the Greek roots of many Rhode Island hot dog shops. The only comparable fast food dish that hits the taste buds in the same way is the chile served in Cincinnati eateries. At the Riverside Grill, the wieners are accompanied by a Rhode Island beverage, coffee milk. This is cold milk flavored with coffee syrup. Somehow it all works.