HUNGRY GERALD

When Paris chefs try to create simple American dishes they fail miserably. Paris is in the midst of a hamburger craze and, according to HG’s informants, the Paris hamburger is laughable. It is devoid of that certain tang that is only achieved at the great American burger emporiums like Bobcat Bite in Santa Fe or Burger Joint in New York (strangely located behind a curtain in the lobby of the super-posh Parker Meridien Hotel). There is some disagreement, but HG believes great steak and fries can only be obtained at the renowned New York steak joints like Spark’s and Peter Luger’s. (Severo, a darling of Parisian critics, serves a pallid version in HG’s opinion). In the latest challenge to American supremacy, The Lobster Roll Bar has opened in a fashionable section of Paris. And, how good is their seaside treat? Fuhgeddabout it !!! Discerning American experts have described the roll as too sweet and the binding mixture as insipid. (And the price for their lobster roll is about $32). If you want to know how to prepare a great lobster roll at home check out HG’s post of Sept. 9, 2012 entitled: Attention Must Be Paid. HG’s advice to the French: Stick to what you do best — escargots and silly philosophising about amour.

That’s what Willy Loman’s widow said in the climactic scene of Arther Miller’s “Death of a Salesman.” And, to leave the artistic heights for the mundane, this applies to the construction of a proper lobster roll. The big problem with lobster rolls is the cost/pleasure ratio. Lobster rolls are expensive. Unfortunately, most contain little lobster and much mayonnaise. When there is enough lobster the price makes a dent in the appetite. Before they left Prince Edward Island, SJ and Exquisite Maiko joined HG for a lobster roll lunch day (BSK had to be left out of the feast because of crustacean allergy). Attention was paid to all of the details and the result was six lush, lobster abundant lobster rolls. First, celery and onion were chopped. No cucumber. HG finds it incompatible with this treat. One pound of very good lobster meat was sliced into manageable pieces. All went into a bowl with Hellman’s Real Mayonnaise. How much mayo? Just enough. Plus a dab of Dijon mustard and a squeeze of lemon juice. Hot dog buns were toasted (exterior and interior). The interior got a generous helping of softened sweet butter. Attention was paid. Perfection was achieved.