HUNGRY GERALD

HG is not a burger fan. Finds all chain burgers vile (Mickey Dee serves the worst). Thinks those monstrous burgers that combine, avocado, cheese, bacon, short rib meat, ham, sausage etc, into overkill jawbreakers are impossible to eat and digest. Invitation to shirt stains and heartburn. However, during HG’s New York days, the greedy fellow always enjoyed the hamburgers at Joe Allen, the theater district restaurant on W.46th with a devoted show biz following. Allen’s hamburger is just the right size. Served properly pink. Nice garnishes. A thin roll that doesn’t overwhelm the meat. HG would have sides of French fries and Caesar salad. Preceded it with black bean soup. Drank Black and Tan: Half Guiness Stout and half IPA beer.Sometimes HG varied this routine with pan broiled calf’s liver. Allen’s was one of the very few New York eateries that had it on their menu. HG was reminded of all this by an interview with Joe Allen, the restaurant’s founder and owner (also founded and owns Orso, a good Italian restaurant next door). The interview was not really an interview. Most comments were from his wife and children. Allen is not forthcoming. He says about himself: “I bore myself. I can only imagine my effect on other people.” Anyway, reading about Joe Allen (the restaurant and the man), made HG hungry for a burger. New Mexico style. Thus, for dinner this night there were pan broiled burgers (grass fed local beef) smothered in 505 Green Chile Sauce (Available at Santa Fe Whole Foods). Corn niblets and okra enlivened with a bit of hot chile oil. Goya black beans topped with chopped sweet onions and sour cream. HG sipped (with restraint) tequila and beer chasers. Some slices of just ripe avocado. Hey, amigos, that’s the way we make burgers in New Mexico. Adios. And, stay hungry.

New Yorkers are vociferous in lauding the town’s pastrami sandwiches. The sad truth is that the art of pastrami has been faltering in New York for years and it is now possible that the best of all pastrami is found at Langer’s, a traditional Jewish delicatessen in a shabby Los Angeles neighborhood. Runner up to Langer’s is Schwartz’s Hebrew Delicatessen in Montreal, famed headquarters of Montreal Smoked Meat. Californians sneer at all hamburgers except those served at the California-Arizona-Texas fast food chain, IN-N-OUT. Angelenos become orgasmatic in describing the chain’s Animal Style cheeseburger. An HG pal said that when he lands at the LA airport after a trip east or abroad, his first stop (before unpacking) is at IN-N-OUT. “Must get my IN-N-OUT fix.” Yes, the chain makes a very good burger but BSK’s New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger tops it. BSK uses 80% lean-20% chuck. Dusts a big cast iron pan with sea salt. Turns the heat up high. Sears the burger on both sides. Tops the patties with abundant slices of Kraft Cracker Barrel Sharp Cheddar. Lowers the heat and cooks until the cheese melts and the interior is a juicy pink. Meanwhile, BSK is warming a saucepan of 505 Bottled Green Chile Sauce. The number 505 is the Santa Fe area code and this sauce is an authentic local product. Great flavor. Plenty of heat. No chemicals or artificial enhancers. BSK pours the sauce over the cheeseburger. Flanks it with home fried potatoes, gently caramelized onions, cole slaw. (HG likes a few smokey chipotle peppers on the side). No mushy hamburger buns. Just cold bottles of Anchor Steam Beer. Another BSK kitchen triumph.

When Paris chefs try to create simple American dishes they fail miserably. Paris is in the midst of a hamburger craze and, according to HG’s informants, the Paris hamburger is laughable. It is devoid of that certain tang that is only achieved at the great American burger emporiums like Bobcat Bite in Santa Fe or Burger Joint in New York (strangely located behind a curtain in the lobby of the super-posh Parker Meridien Hotel). There is some disagreement, but HG believes great steak and fries can only be obtained at the renowned New York steak joints like Spark’s and Peter Luger’s. (Severo, a darling of Parisian critics, serves a pallid version in HG’s opinion). In the latest challenge to American supremacy, The Lobster Roll Bar has opened in a fashionable section of Paris. And, how good is their seaside treat? Fuhgeddabout it !!! Discerning American experts have described the roll as too sweet and the binding mixture as insipid. (And the price for their lobster roll is about $32). If you want to know how to prepare a great lobster roll at home check out HG’s post of Sept. 9, 2012 entitled: Attention Must Be Paid. HG’s advice to the French: Stick to what you do best — escargots and silly philosophising about amour.

According to my favorite Paris food blogger, John Talbott. the City of Light has become crazy for hamburgers. HG is sure Pareeburgers are terrible but then so are American burgers as dispensed by Mickey Dee, Wendy’s, etc. Fast food vileness.

HG has written about the one and only proper way to make a burger. HG is no snob. There are few better things than a good burger topped with a slice of sweet onion and a slice of summer ripe tomato (preferably a Jersey tomato). Accompany it with buttered corn on the cob and ice cold beer. Delicious!

Sadly, Americans — and now Parisians apparently — have degraded the hamburger with their love of ketchup. Yes, the noble burger is often drowned in great gobs of ketchup, as if grilled-to-perfection ground beef were but a transport for the red paste. Ketchup does not enhance the juicy, slightly fatty taste of a proper burger. It disguises that taste. HG is not in favor of disguises. Only one HG ever liked was The Lone Ranger’s cunning little mask.