HUNGRY GERALD

Poached eggs. Scrambled eggs. Omelets. Those are the ways HG likes eggs prepared. Never liked fried eggs. Never a fan of the ubiquitous New York fried egg sandwich. HG likes to eat eggs at home because that’s where they are prepared perfectly. BSK is a talented poacher. BSK poached eggs always have soft (but gently firm) whites and lush, runny yolks. BSK enjoys them on French bistro salads of frisee and bacon or topping a bowl of buttery and cheesy grits. (Poached eggs are splendid served with corned beef hash but HG hasn’t encountered a good restaurant version of this hash since the wonderful Longchamps restaurants of New York closed years ago [SJ here…The Corned Beef Hash topped with a fried egg at Keen’s Chop House is pretty much killer!] ). HG likes ultra soft scrambled eggs with gentle, creamy curds. Impossible to find such eggs at diners and other casual breakfast eateries. They must be made at home with plenty of butter sizzling in the pan (Adding sweet cream is an option). Long deft stirring is the secret. Takes time. The Alice Toklas (Gertrude Stein’s companion) recipe for scrambled eggs suggests 30 minutes of stirring. That’s excessive. The HG family Christmas season late breakfast treat is soft scrambled eggs topped with red salmon caviar and creme fraiche (or sour cream). A warm buttered bialy goes nicely with this holiday treat. HG likes omelets with soft creamy interiors. HG has learned the secret of ordering omelets in Paris. HG orders them baveuse. The translation is “oozing.” BSK and SJ are masterful omelet cooks. HG likes his with a filling of feta cheese. (Pete’s Diner in Denver, home of the world’s greatest giant breakfast burrito, makes a quite acceptable version of this omelet). Yes, BSK and SJ make delicious omelets. But, the Queen of Omelets was a stern, unsmiling Frenchwoman, Mme. Romaine de Lyon. She ran an eponymous omelet restaurant (served only omelets) on New York’s Midtown East Side for some 65 years. How to describe her wondrous omelets? Exquisite. Lush. Divine. Yummy. Many famous folk dined at the restaurant. Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks were regulars. Brooks wrote the screenplay for The Producers (the movie with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder) at his regular table at Mme. De Lyon’s restaurant. If you want to learn the secrets of omelet cooking read Mme De Lyon’s book, The Art of Cooking Omelettes. She spells the dish with two t’s and the book contains 500 savory recipes.

For scores of years HG’s very unhealthy breakfast consisted of endless cups of black coffee and numerous Marlboro cigarettes, all consumed while reading The New York Times (HG’s morning hands were always stained by Times print). Much has changed. HG now reads The New York Times online. No cigarettes. Cafe latte. And, nourishing, often very hearty, breakfast meals. Most often HG has a big bowl of fresh fruit and Greek yogurt drizzled with plenty of Turkish honey (this is one occasion where the Greek and Turkish cultures are in harmony). The other perpetual is organic coarsely cut oatmeal (BSK adds lots of dried fruit to the cereal). For some reason, Sunday morning is a time for eggs. BSK is an exert poacher and scrambler. Thus, there are poached eggs on buttered Thomas English Muffins. Or, poached eggs on a bed of Geechie Boy Stone Ground Grits (provided by SJ). Crisp rashers of bacon always accompany these dishes. HG is very fond of soft, voluptuous scrambled eggs with Alaskan red caviar and creme fraiche. BSK makes this perfectly; however, it is in the realm of omelets that BSK demonstrates her true mastery. Here are some of the fillings: Cheese, fried onions, asparagus, mushrooms, mixed chopped herbs, spinach…and, surprisingly, super spicy Korean kimchee. A BSK omelette is always lightly browned on the outside. Creamy on the inside. Perfect. (SJ also does great omelettes. Must be an inherited talent). When HG goes out for breakfast he consumes a cheese enchilada topped with a sunny side fried egg and smothered in spicy red and mellow green chile sauce (In New Mexico this topping is called “Christmas.”) Best source for this dish is Sopaipilla Factory in Pojoauque (15 minute drive north of Santa Fe). When HG is really hungry in the AM, HG goes to Tune Up Cafe in Santa Fe for the eatery’s massive breakfast burrito filled with eggs, potatoes and thick cut bacon. There’s a ton of fiery green chile on the plate but HG always asks for more. HG may express some nostalgia for the past, but breakfast has never been better than the present.

As noted previously, excellent Nova Scotia smoked salmon (affectionately called “Novy” in New York), is available at HG’s favorite Prince Edward Island seafood vendor, By the Bay Fish Mart, in the town of St. Peter’s. Before setting out on a long sea walk, HG/BSK fortified themselves with a platter of scrambled eggs with onions and “Novy” (accompanied by toasted English muffins and coffee). BSK’s version of this dish is masterful. Eggs are scrambled with a bit of milk and a dash of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce. Spring onions are fried in a just a drop of canola oil (butter is traditionally used but BSK is a confirmed enemy of cholesterol) in a non-stick pan. The heat is turned to low, the “Novy” is warmed. Then, BSK adds the eggs. Using a wooden spoon, BSK stirs the eggs with slow, gentle movements. The eggs form soft, delicate curds. Perfection. And, then comes a master stroke that is uniquely BSK. The dish is given a shower of freshly chopped dill. Wow. The dill enhances the salmon flavor and brings the right touch of color. Sure, dill and salmon are traditional partners (as in Gravlax). But, in years of consuming “Novy” (or lox) and eggs in New York “dairy” restaurants, HG never encountered dill. That is the distinctive BSK flourish, also evident in her unexpected, and rewarding, use of fresh rosemary, tarragon, oregano and basil in a host of unexpected and savory dishes.

In France eggs are not relegated to the breakfast table; instead they are treated with the culinary seriousness they deserve appearing on both bistro and three star restaurant menus. Oeufs Mayo (hard boiled eggs toped with lots of freshly made mayonnaise) is a nice entree. So are Oeufs Meurette (poached eggs in red wine sauce). One bistro even serves BSK’s childhood favorite: Eggs and Soldiers. The dish consists of a soft boiled egg with buttered spears of a baguette. Naturally, omelettes are prominent. HG loves a bistro mushroom omelette, brown and crisp on the outside, soft on the inside. (The French descriptive word for this is baveuse which literally means “oozing.”) A baveuse omelette accompanied by pomme frites, red wine and good bread (perhaps a bit of salad) makes an ideal light, but hearty lunch. (The comic genius, Mel Brooks, discusses a baveuse onion and tomato omelette in this month’s Bon Appetit Magazine). HG also likes fried eggs and bacon tucked into a Norman galette, a crisp edged buckwheat crepe. Back home in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, HG likes a summer egg salad (heavy on the mayo) sandwich on whole wheat toast with a glass of cold lemonade.

Unless you’re a Russian oligarch, Goldman Sachs partner or Middle Eastern oil sheik, caviar has become unaffordable. HG is talking about the real stuff: Osetra, Beluga, Sterlet or Sevruga from the Black Sea. For HG, a wistful memory. But, all is not lost. HG can still feel regal by indulging in scrambled eggs on buttered toast topped with modestly priced (but very good) red salmon caviar. Proper ingredients are essential: Fresh eggs from a humane hen house, high quality sweet butter, sweet cream, creme fraiche (Whole Foods carries a good quality brand), Pepperidge Farm Thin White Bread and, of course, good quality red salmon caviar (Zabar’s will overnight it to you).

Melt generous amount of butter in your saucepan under very low heat. Gently scramble eggs with sweet cream (HG likes to add a few drops of Tabasco). Add eggs to saucepan (keeping heat low). Swirl eggs in pan, adding a bit more sweet cream. You want very creamy eggs formed into gentle curds. Top the white bread toast with eggs, add caviar and a spoonful of creme fraiche. HG likes this dish with chilled Prosecco or Gruet New Mexico Blanc de Blanc. HG doesn’t want to be a billionaire. HG just wants to eat like one.