HUNGRY GERALD

Shame on me. Correct spelling is Luchow’s (Some folks thought it was a Chinese restaurant). The cover of its menu stated:The Gourmet’s Rendevous Since 1882. It was illustrated with portraits of six illustrious patrons: Lillian Russell,Diamond Jim Brady,Paderewski,Julia Marlowe,Victor Herbert,Enrico Caruso. A nice group of talented fressers.

Young folks,there used to be a capacious German restaurant on New York’s East 14th Street. Luchows. Just writing the name makes my eyes go misty. Gone for many years it was the best restaurant in the world. H.L.Mencken said so as did scores of mid-century (and earlier) novelists,journalists,musicians and dedicated gluttons. Luchows was big. High ceilings. Oak paneling. Great chandeliers. Colorful,warm,welcoming. Christmas was magic time. Lots of Christmas trees. Over the top ornaments and glitter. The heady scent of pine,roasting pork,beer,sauerkraut and the perfume of women having a festive time. Waiters in black tie and the requisite long white aprons. An oompah band playing Christmas carols. Enough,Gerald. The food. The food. Firm marinated herring with onions,black bread and sweet butter. Rollmops (pickled herring rolled around a half-sour gherkin). Smoked salmon. Smoked trout served with horseradish-infused whipped cream. Caviar,of course (it used to be an affordable indulgence). Lots more. Then..roast pork or roast duck or roast goose with a robust sauce. Creamy mashed potatoes or buttered noodles. Red sweet-and-sour cabbage or crunchy sauerkraut.Sure,you could have roast beef but that really wasn’t the thing at Luchows. Better a platter of grilled wurst (there were a dozen delightful varieties) with crispy home fries,sauerkraut, sour gherkins and knock-the-top-of-your-head-off mustard. Certainly,you could opt for sauerbraten or a true Alsatian choucroute. As for fastidious Hungry Gerald,a discerning gourmand,inevitably he ate (as a starter) schlemerschnitte (forgive spelling errors..after all,it was many decades ago).This was a sublime steak tartare topped by almost a one-half inch of beluga caviar. Then, pfefferlinge (a melange of butter-sauteed wild mushrooms) served in a sour cream and dill sauce accompanied by a lavish plate of buttery noodles dusted with caraway seeds. All was washed down with Luchows’ own dark beer (beer,not wine,was my beverage at the time…I prefaced the meal with a few dry martinis). Dessert: A huge baked Alaska flamed in brandy by the waiter (once a waiter set his apron aflame and had to be doused with pitchers of water…hilarity ensued). The meal concluded with a double espresso,brandy and a pre-Castro,Maduro leaf cigar. Often,before leaving I was given a slim flute of icy pear eau de vie (on the house). I managed to get it down. Read it and weep,my children. Gone.Gone. Gone.

Sharon added tarragon–not thyme–to her sea stew. Sorry.

I love the magazine Saveur. However. In the last issue there was a nice article on the middle-and-eastern European background of the Jewish delicatessen,an institution that has given so many of the Chosen People serious heartburn.The closing photo in the issue was of a 1900’s era Jewish bagel seller in the city of Kishenev. This city was the scene of a pogrom so horrible that it caused US President Theodore Roosevelt to make a personal protest to the Czar. It caused a young Jew,Vladimir Jabotinsky,to devote his life to Jewish self defense. For better or worse,his heirs are active in present day Israel. Their basic posture is: We do not negotiate with the enemies of the Jewish people. We kill them. Not exactly the pathway to peace. So,Saveur..what’s your next photo? Latkes at the gates of Auschwitz?

Last night. Pinon logs blazing in my Santa Fe fireplace. Taking last sips of my second frozen Russian vodka. Sharon (my wife of 47 years) calls me to the stove and opens the cataplan (this is a hinged, copper plated pan with cover). In the cataplan is her fruits de mer stew. She has sauteed a melange of sweet onions, garlic, flat leaf parsley, diced pancetta in olive oil. Added a few pounds of Prince Edward Island mussels (the world’s best mussels cultivated a mile from our summer home) and some potatoes about the size of your little finger. She’s added fish stock, white wine, some chili pepper flakes. At the last minute, in will go squid and little neck clams (she believes that these elements must be cooked in a flash before they turn into chewing gum of the sea). Then a dash of thyme from her herb garden. Her magic is knowing just when to open the cataplan when everything has steamed into sublimity.

I have cut up some sourdough bread I bought at the farmer’s market and filled our glasses with Beaujoloais Nouveau (it’s good this year). My creative culinary tasks finished I rush with plate to the opened cataplan. First taste. Sharon asks:”How is it?” “Best thing I ever tasted,” say I.

Now. Flash backward to June 1963. Month before our wedding. Place: Fire Island,New York. Hot, late afternoon. Just come from the beach. Still wet from the sea. Sharon in a blue, gingham mini-bikini. Sharon in a bikini is a sight to make strong men weak or induce sudden paralysis. Sharon presents me with a plate of grilled Hebrew National hot dogs accompanied by Heinz baked beans. She’s mixed fried onions and ketchup in the beans. Cold beer in hand I take first taste.
“How is it?,” says Sharon. “Best thing I ever tasted,” say I….Right, Mr. Romantic.

So, how does she look in a bikini 47 years later? Better.

Available at El Parasol in Poajaque, New Mexico. (On highway 84/285 about 15 minutes north of Santa Fe): a chicken and guacamole taco paired with a small helping of menudo (sublime Mexican tripe designed to cure hangovers and a score of other ailments) supplemented by green chiles and posole. Total cost: $5.35 (you read right). A pox upon you,Taco Bell.

Re: Malbec and Tempranillo cheapo wine. It’s like sex when you’re 18: Even the bad is good.

I am a wine cheapo. There are two can’t miss cheapos — Argentine Malbec and Spanish Tempranillo Yes, I know there are expensive M’s and T’s. But, even the low end is quaffable. By the way, I share the description “wine cheapo” with the eminent John Talbott (do not miss his blog John Talbott’s Paris).