HUNGRY GERALD

HG/BSK are lucky. They do not just eat fresh fruit and vegetables. They eat fruit and vegetables so fresh that they have been plucked or dug from the earth only hours (or minutes) before they arrive on the HG/BSK dining table. In New Mexico, HG/BSK live adjacent to “Mister G’s,” one of the state’s most renowned organic farms. Almost daily, the duo pick up lettuces, escarole, kale, radishes and other things that have the scent, bite and succulence of truly fresh produce. On Prince Edward Island, HG/BSK eat tons of freshly picked vegetables including just-dug potatoes, the red PEI earth still clinging to them. The majority of potatoes that are eaten in the US are long stored and sometimes even months old. These freshly dug spuds are a revelation with real texture and a certain mineral tang that is unsurpassed. A simple PEI boiled potato with a pat of butter and a sprinkle of sea salt is a treat. Prince Edward Island is also covered with both wild and farmed strawberries, blueberries and raspberries which you can pick yourself of have them picked for you at a modest additional cost. HG contemplated the joys of freshness last night while enjoying BSK’s stir fry of snow pea pods and garlic scapes (both a few hours old) and bean sprouts (an import from Nova Scotia, alas). BSK enhanced the stir fry with chopped garlic and ginger, soy sauce and a dash of white wine. The dish accompanied HG’s lightly battered and sauteed hake (caught off PEI hours before) plus soba with sesame oil and sriracha. Memorable and very fresh meal.

Born and bred in Italy, an authority on many aspects of Italian culture and cuisine, HG’s son-in-law, Profesore/Dottore Massimo R., a distinguished academic, dismisses orzo, one of HG’s favorite pasta shapes. “Only in soup,” declares Massimo. Yes, it’s great in soup. BSK makes a delicious egg drop soup in the Roman style to which HG likes to add orzo and a topping of grated parmesan and ground pepper. But, HG likes to accompany almost everything — fish, meat, grilled vegetables — with a steaming bowl of orzo. A favorite orzo preparation is mixed with fried onions and mushrooms (plus garlic and olive oil, of course). HG also loves it mixed with anchovies and capers. HG even likes orzo for breakfast with a few pats of butter and a dollop of Greek yogurt (better than oatmeal but not as healthy). HG bows to Profesore/Dottore’s judgment on Pirandello, Palladio, Giotto, etc. but when it comes to his denigration of orzo, HG must respectfully disagree.

As a side-note HG’s daughter-in-law Exquisite Maiko, one of the great chefs walking this earth, also disparages orzo as a pasta “pretending to be rice” and ending up with neither of the great qualities of rice nor pasta. Once again, HG will happily fress on EM’s heavenly tempura while keeping a warm bowl of orzo on his table. “More for me!” says HG.

There is an addition to HG/BSK’s Prince Edward Island kitchen. It is a Russian poster advertising caviar. An appetizing — and rivetingly beautiful — piece of art. Featured in the poster is what appears to be a one pound tin of Beluga, a smaller tin (Sevruga, perhaps?) and a leaping sturgeon. All set against a background of intense blue. This is a gift from our recent houseguest Nir Bareket (and his lovely long time companion, Wendy W.). Nir, who lives in Toronto, found it in a Toronto gallery. It is another example of Nir’s remarkable eye. Nir is a distinguished photographer. His 50-year career as a photographer will be the subject of a retrospective sponsored by the City of Toronto. The show will open in April 2014. HG/BSK hope to be there.

Are you (like HG/BSK) a passionate oyster lover? Then read on and turn bright green with envy. Prince Edward Island has long been famous for its Malpeque oysters and these are the oysters which are exported all around the world. They are splendid bivalves, indeed, but the true king of oysters is PEI’s South Lake oyster. This oyster is big, lush, briny. Incomparable. HG drops by the local fish store (By the Bay Fish Mart) and picks up a half dozen for the evening appetizer. The obliging fish lady picks out the biggest and best for HG, her steadiest customer. The price is $1.10 each. HG gets a modest discount when HG buys in quantity for a family feast. Don’t look for South Lake oysters at your fish monger. They never leave the Island. Too bad, oyster fanatics.

HG has never been in Newfoundland but HG has much love for this chilly land. To begin with, one of HG’s best life companions was a very big, black, highly intelligent Newfoundland dog named Bobo. The big boy would often accompany HG to Vietnamese and Chinese restaurants in Denver, creating anxiety on the part of the waitstaff. And while many visitors have regaled HG with tales of Newfoundland’s physical beauty and the rollicking Irish charm of its residents, what really impresses HG is the quality of the sea creatures procured from its shores: Wondrous cod, hake, haddock and halibut are all fished off the Newfoundland coast. But, until recently, HG was unaware of the tiny, succulent fresh water shrimp from Newfoundland. HG discovered them at the By the Bay Fish Mart in St. Peter’s Bay, Prince Edward Island. They have since become a staple. HG mixes them with mayonnaise, chopped onion, celery and herbs for an estimable salad. However, HG likes them best the Venetian way. A bit of finely chopped garlic. Good olive oil. Chopped parsley. With a glass of chilled white wine it is the perfect way to begin a summer meal.

Browsing through a delightful food and drink writing anthology, Second Helpings–A Taste of The Glenfiddich Awards, HG came upon an extreme example of English eccentricity: A glowing testimony to a greasy, unhealthy high caloric pub treat called Chip Buttty. HG mused that “Chip Butty” would be an appropriate name for a gay porno actor. The culinary Chip Butty is a sandwich. It is composed of heavily buttered white bread. Indeed, the bread should “ooze” butter. The sandwich filling is French fries, preferably fried in lard or beef suet. A dash of malt vinegar, a squirt of ketchup and sprinkles of salt and pepper complete this treat. HG presumes this should be consumed in a pub with tankards of warm brown ale. Football (soccer) on the telly. Drunken football chants being chanted. Possibly, HG is being harsh. After all, HG is a lover of some pretty reprehensible and messy treats like the chow mein sandwiches served on hamburger buns you can still procure from Nathan’s Famous hot dog stand at New York’s Coney Island. And, at Sammy’s Romanian Restaurant on New York’s Lower East Side, HG likes to smother fried “half dollar” potatoes and other dishes with abundant amounts of golden chicken fat. Unhealthy, greasy — but not truly eccentric — is an HG sandwich favorite: Salami and eggs on an onion roll (pletzel). The salami (heavily fatty and garlicky Jewish salami available from Zabar’s and Katz’s Deli in New York) should be cooked with scrambled eggs pancake style. Onions fried until crisp in chicken fat are a nice addition.

Americans are amused and sometimes repulsed by oddly named British desserts: Spotted Dick, Toad in the Hole, Roly Poly, etc. They are missing a treat. Many of these desserts make ample use of expertly made custard plus dates, raisin and other good things. There is a club in London (Members are mostly “old boys” of posh schools like Eton and Harrow) which meets periodically to consume abundant amounts of these yummies. HG is fond of bangers, the rather bland but good British sausages, and Scotch eggs, the pub treat of fried and breaded hard boiled eggs. An unpleasant habit of the British is serving canned baked beans and tinned mushrooms with a breakfast of eggs and bacon (plus cold toast, of course). At “chippies” (Fish and chips eateries), the classic duo of fish and chips (French fries) is often accompanied by “mushy peas,” a vile concoction. Most of the old criticism of British cooking (bland, mushy, boring, over-cooked) no longer applies. As a foodie destination, London is on a par with New York, filled with excellent restaurants of every description and ethnicity. But, if you are on a budget, it is wise to concentrate on Indian and Korean food. Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding still stars at Simpson’s on the Strand and Dover sole rules at J. Sheekey. These are two of the world’s best dishes and are unsurpassed at these historic restaurants. A very good, properly brewed pot of tea is available all over London, even at museum cafeterias. HG/BSK always interrupt their visits at the Tate Modern and Albert & Victoria with tea plus crumpets lavishly adorned with jam and clotted cream. Londoners bemoan the fact that there are only one or two traditional “eel and pie” shops (specializing in jellied eels) remaining. HG does not share their sadness.

At the urging (very vigorous urging) of BSK, obedient HG has given up vodka as a pre-dinner cocktail. A sobering move. Instead, creative HG fills a wine glass with ice. In goes some cheap, indifferent white wine plus some Campari and generous squeezes of lime. A refreshing, lightly alcoholic drink. Perfect for summer. While sipping, HG thought how Campari is one of the Great Improvers — it enlivens sparkling water, tonic water and, when living dangerously, it can make even the most pedestrian vodka sing; an even better pairing is vodka, Campari, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth and lots of ice. Strained into a chilled martini glass — delicious. Other members of the Great Improvers Club are Sriracha, Parmesan cheese and sour cream (or Greek yogurt). Few things are not made better by a judicious squirt of tongue tingling sriracha. It first made its appearance on the tables of Vietnamese restaurants in the United States. Now,it can be found in every supermarket and in every professional kichen — a Sriracha flavored Dorito chip cannot be far behind. Parmesan is the savior of indifferent Italian cooking (and salad making). Sour cream and/or thick Greek yogurt rescues many Jewish/Russian/Eastern European dishes. Borscht, schav (chilled sorrel soup) and pelmeny (Siberian ravioli) should always be served with abundant dollops of sour cream. Karnezelach (beef-onion-garlic-parsley burgers formed into fat cigar shapes and pan broiled) are attractive with Greek yogurt enhanced by garlic, olive oil and some sliced radish. Latkes (potato pancakes) become poetic with good sour cream. As for blintzes, pierogi, etc. All are simply excuses to eat lots of sour cream.

The government liquor store in nearby Morell, Prince Edward Island, has moved (there are some private wine merchants in Canada, but most spirits-wine-beer stores are government operations). Sign is still up but the store is vacant. HG/BSK made inquiries from some locals. Informed that the liquor store had moved to the gredge. HG/BSK were puzzled. What is a gredge? Turns out a “gredge” is a gas station or garage. The liquor store now occupies a corner of a Needs (a local convenience store chain) which is attached to a gas station (aka “gredge.”) Mystery solved. Other PEI mysteries abound: Anchovies are near impossible to locate in PEI groceries. After a many fruitless inquiries, HG finally located some dusty tins of anchovies, on ice, in the fresh fish department. Clam broth (or clam juice) cannot be found anywhere. Seems strange on an island famed for its bivalves. And okra, a fairly regular vegetable in US markets, occupies a place of complete ignorance in PEI. No one know what it is or where to get it and when SJ has trolled the markets looking for it (to make his famed gumbo), he has met a rather threatened silence, as if “okra” was a code word for illicit drugs. Fortunately, the main PEI mystery — which HG is happy if it remains unsolved– is how this wonderful, peaceful, eminently liveable island province has remained under-the-radar for so long.

HG is hunt-and-pecking on the HG MacBook with sticky fingers. That’s because HG is happily devouring his second plate of Schnecken with HG’s morning cafe au lait. You may not be familiar with Schnecken and
that is your misfortune. They are little pastries, an Eastern European version of the cinnamon roll (but not as sweet) and the Danish (but smaller and not as buttery). Much in common with the more familiar Rugelach (but lighter and better). The literal translation of Schnecken is “snails.” That’s because the sour cream dough is rolled into snail like spirals. These spirals contain chopped walnuts and sweet spicing. Schnecken are glazed and crisp. In H.L.Mencken’s phrase, “They add to the gaiety of nations.” And why is HG devouring Schnecken on Prince Edward Island, a most unlikely venue? The answer is SCH, Peter H.’s very original wife. Besides possessing a Ph. D. in economics, SCH possesses the scientific skills necessary to produce great baked goods. SCH determined that she would bake Schnecken during her visit with HG/BSK on PEI. Most people would not want to labor over an oven on a summer day. Not SCH. The skilled woman liked the idea of spending time in the HG/BSK kitchen with its endless views of sea, sky and greenery. Weather cooperated by being unseasonably cool. A Schnecken festival for everyone — HG/BSK; Peter H.; guests Nir B. and Wendy W. Thank you, SCH…and, yes, HG will have another!