HUNGRY GERALD

Last Christmas, thoughtful SJ gifted HG with a big sack of Bazzini pistachios, Big, plump, fresh, not too heavily salted nuts. Indeed, Bazzini reigns over the pistachio kingdom.

HG has always loved pistachios. As a wee lad, he would purchase them at the famed candy and ice cream emporium, J.S. Krum, which was located on The Bronx’s Grand Concourse (and Promenade). HG loves all pistachio-studded Turkish and Greek desserts. HG loves mortadella, the Italian forcemeat that is dotted with pistachios (the best mortadella is found in Bologna, a city of hearty cuisine). A bowl of pistachios, fruit, cheese, red wine (or port) makes a nice dinner finale. Curiously, HG has never encountered good pistachio ice cream. It usually tastes like green food coloring and sub-par vanilla. It’s a puzzle, because it should be good, as good at least as Butter Pecan or Vanilla Swiss Almond and it just isn’t. So, get to work, ice cream R & D guys. The world needs superior pistachio ice cream.

Permit HG to expand your vocabulary. “Shmuchtzeh” is a Yiddish word. It means a big, wet exuberant kiss. And, that is what HG sends those wonderful San Francisco folk who create the BUBBIES brand of pickles and sauerkraut. Through some alchemy they have put old-time Bronx flavor in a jar. You will find BUBBIES at Whole Foods and most other supermarkets. No, HG is not the brand’s press agent but when something is really tasty, generous HG wants to share.

Say the word “eels” and you will usually get a grimace of disgust. The words “slithery” and “slimy” are often used in connection with eels. They got very bad PR in the movie The Tin Drum where there is a graphic scene of an eel fisherman landing his catch using a rotten, decapitated horse’s head as bait. As any press agent would tell you: when trying to appeal to the public, avoid slithering out of the mouth of a dead horse.

Nevertheless. HG states, with conviction, eels are delicious. HG has posted on the splendor of unagi as well as posting a lyrical memory about the smoked eel at the late Henri Soule’s Pavillon Restaurant. HG also has vivid memories of Matelote d’Anguille (eel and red wine stew). It was a staple at cheap, French bistros on New York’s midtown (on the west side).

Londoners, for many years, were passionate about consuming eels. East London, in particular, had scores of eel-and-pie restaurants. They served stewed eels, jellied eels and eel pie with mashed potatoes. All were served with “liquor”….a parsley sauce often spiced with chilies and vinegar. HG always looked askance at jellied eels until he realized that they were similar to gefilte fish which is properly served with an abundance of jelly, which is simply the jellied stock in which the fish is cooked. Alas, there aren’t many eel-and-pie shops left in London (there used to be 130). The most extraordinary, in terms of its ornate 1910 decor is F. Cooke’s. Find this noble establishment at 44 Kingsland High Street, Dalston, London E8. Blimey!!

HG is very fond of unagi (Japanese fresh water eel). It is always available, cooked and glazed, at the Whole Foods fish counter. HG likes it as an appetizer. Some slices with wasabi and sliced scallion. Chilled sake. Very civilized way to start a meal. HG also likes it atop a bowl of slightly vinegared rice. And, of course, in all the creative dishes a serious chef turns out at a good Sushi restaurant. In Japan, there are many restaurants that serve nothing but unagi — including the 160 year old Nodaiwa in Azabu where SJ was treated to an Unagi meal by the Eel Prince (whose family has been running Nodaiwa for 6 generations).

HG’s lovely Japanese daughter-in-law, Maiko, was saddened last year by the passing of her grandfather. He ate unagi every day. He lived to be 102.

Because of his height, big nose and high forehead, Charles de Gaulle was called by the irreverent French, “La Grande Asperge” — The Great Asparagus. Well, last night HG had some truly great asparagus. Big, fat guys purchased at Whole Foods and labeled European Asparagus. BSK steamed them and served them with olive oil, a bit of melted butter, lemon juice and sea salt. Yum.

Asparagus doesn’t marry well with most wine. HG likes them with Le Ferme Julien Rose if you can find it or a crisp white or even beer. When only skinny asparagus are available HG suggests they be cut into short lengths and stir fried with a bit of garlic and ginger. Fat white asparagus are a European obsession. Veronika H., the German-born pal of HG and BSK, said all work would halt in Germany on the first day these delectables hit the market. HG and BSK first tasted these lush asparagus many decades ago in a long gone restaurant on the Boulevard Saint Germain in Paris. They were wrapped in a linen cloth to keep warm and served with great ceremony by the maître d’ who used silver tongs. A big gravy boat of Sauce Mousseline (Hollandaise mixed with whipped cream) accompanied them. Wow! This was followed by rare spring lamb and souffle potatoes. The meal ended with the first wild strawberries of the season. Ah, springtime in Paree when we were young and the exchange rate favored the dollar!!

Babe Ruth had the last word on asparagus. Invited to a classy dinner of blue bloods, the rough diamond of the diamond, was asked by the hostess why he declined the asparagus: Said Babe: “Because they make my pee smell funny.”

A cautionary tale about hot dogs and Mallomars. Many years ago HG had a real estate mogul client. He was a big guy. His weight varied between 275-300 pounds. He was on a perpetual diet. Some lettuce leaves and cottage cheese for lunch. However, HG knew his guilty secret. His baronial desk had a drawer stuffed with Mallomars (an oddly regional and seasonal Nabisco confection of a cookie base, marshmallow top, all robed in sweet chocolate). Most evenings the mogul would pick HG up at his Broadway office and drop him off at his West Side (rent controlled) apartment en route to the mogul’s Westchester estate. Lounging in the leather seats of the chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce, HG and the mogul would hatch various public relations ploys to further enrich the mogul and gild his image. Every night the Rolls would come to an abrupt stop at the Gray’s Papaya at Broadway and 72nd. The chauffeur would leap out and bring back six hot dogs and two pina coladas (the relationship between “healthy” papaya drinks and Hot Dogs that exists only in New York is a story for another day). The mogul would wolf them down while continuing his business conversation. “I can’t resist hot dogs,” he explained. HG is sure he had some more lettuce leaves and a piece of grilled (skinless) chicken breast for dinner in Westchester. He was a sweet guy. He died young. There is a park in Queens named after him. But, no memorial plaque at the Gray’s Papaya.

Forgetfulness is a curse (one of many) of advancing years. HG apologizes to the upstate New York city of Rochester for not including it in his recent posting of regional hot dog favorites. Rochester, you see, is the home of “White Hots” — a bow wow that is white and not the familiar reddish hue. Absence of food coloring? Inclusion of veal? HG doesn’t know (but this great regional hot dog blog does!). HG was introduced to these strange (but very tasty) tube steaks by Donald K., Rochester native, public relations mogul, round the world sailor. The Rochester dogs, in HG’s opinion, don’t take kindly to sauerkraut. Try them (if you can find them) with a bit of mustard and relish.

HG hasn’t had a hot dog in years.

In the past, HG loved these regional hot dog champions: The hot dog with mustard and sauerkraut at Nathan’s Famous in New York’s Coney Island with ocean breezes and the noise of the roller coaster in the background; Chicago’s Vienna Beef dog with all the fixings…tomatoes, onions, hot peppers, pickles, mustard, celery salt on top of a snappy all-beef wiener; the stupendous hot dog served at a shack in Cliffside Park, N.J. (so good that owners opened a big, formal hot dog restaurant which, of course, failed…you can’t formalize a lowly dog); the excellent, dirty water hot dog served at the fast food counter in New York’s Port Authority Bus Terminal on 8th Avenue.

The true appetite quenching dog was known as “The Special” and was served for many years in New York delicatessens. It was BIG, fat and juicy. More a knockwurst than a frankfurter. As reported in a post some months ago, HG was very fond, in the early days of their marriage, of BSK’s grilled hot dogs served with baked beans mixed with sauteed onions and Heinz chili sauce. Love might have had something to do with it.

HG watched (with pleasure), “The King’s Speech”, and his thoughts, inevitably, turned to hot dogs. In one of the great public relations ploys, President Roosevelt invited the royal couple—King George VI and Elizabeth II— to the United States in 1939 for a 5 day visit. FDR, knowing that war was imminent, wanted closer ties with Greaat Britain. The visit (first to the USA for a Royal Couple since the American Revolution) was a huge success. The highlight was a picnic on the lawn of Top Cottage, FDR’s property on the Hyde Park estate. The King and Queen were served hot dogs and expressed their pleasure with this All American fare. Yes, there was also some excellent ham, smoked turkey, strawberry shortcake and other goodies. But, the hot dogs were in the spotlight. Those tube steaks played a big role in history.

Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s worth it. HG is referring to Spanish canned tuna. Infinitely better than American. Even better than Italian. HG likes to eat it in three different dishes:

Number one: Mix it with thinly sliced red onions, Goya canned white beans and capers. Make a dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper.

Number two: Empty the tuna fish can on a platter. Surround it with scallions, carrot shavings plus parboiled and cooled haricots vert, cauliflower, broccoli (or any combination of raw and cooked vegetables). Make a goodly quantity of aioli (garlic infused mayonnaise with a touch of cayenne), Accompany it all with a baguette and a bottle of very cold Spanish rose.

Number three: Saute a robust quantity of finely chopped garlic, parsley and sweet onion in olive oil. Toss some linguini fini in salted boiling water. When done, drain and add to frying pan with the done-to-pale-gold onions and garlic. Top with a can of tuna. Add some tablespoons of capers (and some slices of kalamata olives, if you like). Some Italian hot pepper flakes are a good idea. Just warm the tuna a bit in the pasta mixture (you are not cooking it). Top with a bit of chopped parsley before serving. This is true Mediterranean comfort food. And, Doc, no cholesterol.